I will NOT, I will NOT, I will NOT, I will NOT, I will NOT.
So far she has vacuumed me up (she always finds that crack in the floor I hide in!), stuck me in a bottle (which I broke.), locked me into the back drawer of her desk (which I also promptly broke.)
I will NOT, I will NOT, I will NOT.
But her major mode of keeping me from doing it is hand slapping.
slap slap slap slap slap
Suddenly, I'm reduced to eating cellary.
But we have fun with it. Even when I'm not hungry, I'll pretend I'm sneaking to get a cookie, and we'll have a rousing chase all round the room, that will end up getting Ara wet, poking MD and Briggs, and spilling the cookies.
Dieting with cookies in the house is hard. But I am prevailing over the cookie!
To enjoy this commentary to the fullest, I would suggest reading We Wish You a Merry Christmas Without Us, including the comments. Since this is rather lengthy and only attached to the FCN subject in only vague strands, I decided to place it here, instead of using up FCN space.
Merry Christmas, FCN.
~~
That was funny-depressing. I'm trying to loose weight right now, guys. After I finish the cookies I made last night, I'm cutting sweets until I reach my prefered weight. For those of you that ever catch me eating, remind me of this fact if I happen to backslide. I will not be making any cookies in the foreseeable future. I will not ingest any hot chocolate until...really late in December. I will not consume any candy until January...AFTER PLNU. Bread and cheese are going off-limits, too.
All of my Christmas shopping, besides stocking stuffers, is done, and was done online the day after Christmas. I will not be purchasing See's Candy for anyone.
I WILL continue to post on my blog.
I will write Christmas Cards. Lots of Christmas cards. I do not plan to ship any gifts to my relatives. If it can't fit in a card, it's not going.
Instead of spending my days shopping, I will spend them not eating. I plan to curl up by the fireplace with a cup of hot water, and read. Or write. Or research.
Okay, so I guess you could boil everything I'm going to do down to one goal:
For every pound FCN gains, I want to lose a pound.
Isn't that just sooooo cute? There's your pilgrim, and there's your Indian, and there on the table is a turkey (with the stuffing falling out toward the Indian) and some veggies, among other things. Isn't it cute? Did I mention that your pilgrim and Indian are both...turkeys?
I suppose, for the patriotism, or the thanksgivingism, or the somethingism, I ought to write a Thanksgiving post. But the problem is, my Thanksgiving isn't until tomorrow, when people will be trampling each other for the best buys. So, in a cynically-thanksgivingy way, here's my thankfullnesses:
10. I'm thankful I do not need to go shopping tomorrow.
9. I'm thankful I have the Internet to take care of my shopping, if I happen to need to purchase anything tomorrow.
8. I'm thankful for the phone so that I can call my friends instead of driving somewhere to visit them.
7. I'm glad my club has gmail so I can pull tricks and annoy without setting foot out my door.
6. I'm glad I live in the country, where I'm less likely to witness traffic accidents tomorrow.
5. I'm thankful I don't have any friends that must go shopping tomorrow. I'd be really sad if they got trampled.
4. I'm thankful I don't work in a store. I'd hate to have to clean up the mess everyone would leave behind, not to mention having to explain to the cops, why, exactly, I opened the twenty-eighth register when I knew every person at the end of the lines would immediately run over, thus causing some poor person's demise.
3. I'm glad God gave me the brains to avoid most of the above.
2. I'm glad I'm oblivious to the brains that are missing.
1. But most of all, I'm glad for my family, my friends, and all the times we've shared together. Ya'll have been with me through a lot in the past year and a month.
Before I begin, I would like to emphasize that I have very dark brown hair and Ta has very light brown hair. Neither of us are actual blondes. However, after Saturday and today, I think both of us should do a little “lemon juice and vinegar” work.
Hills and heels do not mix. Of course, my flat shoes were securely stored in the trunk of my car, and I didn’t particularly feel like hiking up that hill to retrieve them. So instead I made three trips up and down the other hill in heels and carrying my bag. I got smart before I made my fourth trip. I called to one of my friends and asked him to read postings for me. One point for smarts for me!!! The first time he didn’t answer. The second time, his debate partner had left to go check postings for his team, so I had to request that Zack follow his partner to check postings for me. It happened to be that my next debate round was in the exact room I was sitting in. I just had to move to the other table.
Me: Ta: 1 0
Much easier than hiking up and down the hill.
Soon, Ta and her partner arrived. Ta was wearing flat shoes and had her heels in her bag. One point for smarts for Ta. She’s gaining on me.
Me: Ta: 1 1
Thus we continued for our debate round, and Ta gained yet another point of smarts on me. Fortunately, my partner made up for my lack of points, and we managed to win the round. Two points for me! Once again, we were tied. Time to hike up the hill.
Me: Ta: 2 2
During the time following waiting for postings, a nice brunette, or not so nice, decided she wanted to swing dance. Since she couldn’t get anyone else to dance with her, she asked me. Negative one point for me. Ta’s in the lead again.
Me: Ta: 1 2
Then we found out that we were to go against each other again. Switch sides.
Ta’s still using her flats to walk down the other hill. Point for her.
Me: Ta: 1 3
During the round, Ta mentions that, since I said her criterion was too broad and she said ours was too narrow, we need to find a balance. I write “Social Benefits or Net Justice?” on a sticky note.
Ta’s phone goes off twice in the ensuing round. It vibrates enough for me to wonder who is calling me. Negative two points for her.
Me: Ta: 1 1
We go back up the hill. Ta stops to eat dinner, but my partner and I continue up the hill to dump our bags and for me to retrieve my shoes. One point for me.
Me: Ta: 2 1
On the return walk down the hill, my partner wants to know why I wear heels. He decides that I need to wear platforms for comfort’s sake. I counter that I have a hard time balancing on platforms. He suggests four foot stilts. I say two inches is more what I’m looking for. We wonder if stilts would be allowed under dress code.
Me: Ta: 0 1
That’s how the score stood at the end of Saturday. The only problem was, on Saturday, our last ballot was not copied. Four people, one ballot. I get the ballot because I can fax it to Ta.
Me: Ta: 1 1
Today, Ta and I can’t figure out how to work the fax machines.
“Push the green button!” “Ooo!! It beeps and flashes when we push that button! Pretty!” “I thought you didn’t have to put a one before a phone number any more.” “Why isn’t the ballot coming out of the other side? Is that a paper jamb?!?!?!?” “What’s a paper jam?” “It’s kinda like a paper cut, except you put it on bread.”
We accidentally copy the blank side of the ballot.
Me: Ta: 0 0
Ta decides that I can figure out how to send it by myself.
Me: Ta: 0 1
After e-mailing back and forth for half the day, I finally send it…without calling to ask for the fax machine to be switched on.
Me: Ta: 0 1
I call, and successfully (!!) send the fax.
Me: Ta: 1 1
After all that, who cares about the score, anyways? We’re scheduling a bleaching session for our hair. Like, really bleaching. Like, White Blonde.
Lemme know what you think.
*Note: All truth in this story may or may not be real, and any representations of actual events have been exaggerated for the benefit of both blondes, and, I would presume, the fax machine.
10. You're doing something next Saturday (November 17). 9. You like Skittles. 8. You have a Gmail account. 7. The rest of your club has a gmail account, and you use Gmail to chat with each other. 6. Staying up all night researching before a Saturday, or Friday, is not uncommon. 5. You can't say enough in five minutes. 4. When you aren't spending time researching, you play with Photoshop or take pictures. 3. You fear the team from Zimbabwe. 2. When someone makes a "C" with their hand, you immediately think "30 seconds!" 1. Names like "Winther" "Trujillo" (:P) "Herche" or "Jorgensen" make you faint. Especially if you have to debate against them.
If none of the above apply to you, you are not a debater.
I would resent using the hard language that Ms. Clinton is "bewitching" the American public, or at least attempting to at any rate, but the pointy hat just kind a got to me. And, of course, all the stories that could be changed....
The land that is covered in snow and ice and where all the peoples get free health care that really isn't good health care 'cause anybody that's sick gets turned to ice.
The Hillary Potter series that sweeps the majority of the world's population off its feet, only to find themselves out of money, owning some useless books and with one woman richer than Queen Elizabeth herself...like, three times richer.
*titters*
Yes, this isn't about politics.
However, I do have one suggestion for our dear friend:
Very late last Friday afternoon, the governor of California signed three bills.
Having those bills explained to you while you are eating is not a good idea, so I suggest setting aside all edibles for the moment.
Bill 1: Textbooks will be re-written, so that fathers will become "sperm donors" and mothers will be "egg donors." Since California is supposedly the largest textbook purchaser in the nation, that means that other states will be significantly affected. This change in text books will go all the way from K to High School.
Bill 2: Cross dressers may now use restrooms of opposing sex in places such as highschools. They may also have lockers in the same manner.
Bill 3: Deals with parents of children complaining to teachers who are homosexuals. The teachers can press harassment charges.
Another Bill is waiting for a veto or a signiture: one that would clasify anything said aginst the homosexual lifestyle as hate speech.
Normally, I would not post anything about politics, because I don't really care for random blogging people to tell me why I should listen to them whine and complain about our government. For all I care, they could be talking to a brick wall, expecting it to respond.
So this isn't about politics. It happens to be about a politician,religion, and values. Again, I repeat, this is not about politics.
Barak Obama, a hopeful for the Democratic Party's bid for the presidency, has decided to take up religion. But not any religion. This was at a Christian Church.
Whoa, let's back up here for a moment.
Obama once claimed the Islamic faith. Now, he claims the Christian faith. Can't quite pin-point when the change happened, but I'm wondering if it had anything to do with his political career....
For those of you who are not familiar with the Islamic belief, "Kill the infidel" and "Jihad" are two very important things. In other words, kill everybody that doesn't agree with you, then you can have set Allah's kingdom up. Obama is not talking about Jesus Christ, the one true God and our Lord and Savior. He is talking about a god that is no god.
Most people are worried about the "separation of Church and State," not by the principles that would be brought in by someone who's religious basis is, "kill the infidel."
Perhaps Obama isn't an active Islamist. I mean, I don't think he's tried to blow up any buildings. But that basic underpinning is still there.
Although I'm probably breaking copyright laws, I must quote the American Chronicle:
"An "instrument" doesn't mediate, think or contemplate, it's an inanimate object that's totally under the will of the person that's holding it."
I do not thing that, if Obama's "god" is Allah, that is a very good plan for Obama to be the leading instrument in this nation.
Lord help us.
"When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn." Proverbs 29:2 KJV
Hmmm...I almost titled this post "Getting High," but that didn't quite sound right, plus I don't think that this will fulfill the normal definitions of drugging ones self into happy oblivion. Plus I didn't want to get in trouble with the IRS...I mean, well, whatever. I guess the IRS is more widely feared.
It all began last night while a friend and I were discussing weird beeping noises that emit from air freshener dispensers when they happen to be out of, well, air freshener. This got us on the discussion of things that irritate little noses when we landed back on our dear friend, air freshener. My friend walked into a room in her church that had just been exuberantly sprayed with air freshener and had to immediately sit down.
She got a "happy high" from air freshener.
~~
It all began with a tournament where there was no partner nearby to stop him. It was then that he decided to experiment. Three days and 48 cans of Coke later, he finally had to quit--cold turkey.
He got a "happy high" from Coke.
~~
It all began with my partner telling me that we really should do well at this tournament. Actually, it didn't begin with that. It all began when he told me it would be best for me to be awake before we went to our first round. As I was tired, I got a coffee. One venti with an extra shot or two has been a necessity.
I got a "happy high" from coffee.
~~
It all began when Halo III came out. He played until he could conquer. He lost a night's worth of sleep. He has re-conquered the game yet again.
He got a "happy high" from Halo III.
~~
It all began when she decided to bring "Apples to Apples." She made us all play, and play and...well, play. We got together with friends, and she brought the game. We went home, and she brought the game. We played that night. We would have played in the car, but I can't read in the car without getting sick.
She got a "happy high" from that game.
~~
It all began when he first set eyes on the little Emergen-C box. That, my friends, was the beginning of the tale. The little packages are supposed to give you an energy boost and have waaaay over your daily requirements for vitamin B. He used about a dozen packets in one day.
He got a "happy high" from the dietary supplement.
~~
It all began when she asked to bake cookies. Actually, it began long before that, but I first witnessed it when we baked the cookies. She decided we should make snickerdoodles. And put peanut butter in them. She used a lot of peanut butter in the cookies. She also ate a lot. Every physical malady can be solved by using peanut butter, in her estimation.
She got a "happy high" from peanut butter.
~~
It all began while he was searching for a snack. But a munch here, and a munch there, and suddenly, the whole box was gone.
Yesterday I had mentioned that there are two types of people: those who can study while listening to music, and those who cannot. As I am not in the latter group, I have lumped them together as a bunch of people who are easily distracted…like I’m not, but that’s beside the point. (Just so you know, right now I’m listening to Martha’s Dance/The Russian Dervish, which is a very frenetic song. In a moment I will be listening to The Battle from Chronicles of Narnia, which is much more relaxing and uplifting. I simply know that is what I will be listening to as the player just switched over to that. I would tell you what I would be hearing next, but that would require my switching windows to look up the title, so I’ll leave you with the clue that it’s a slightly longer piece, and wait until it switches on to tell you what it is. Isn’t iTunes wonderful? You can tell it to play songs by shortest to longest or visa versa.) The former group, that of people who are able to study while listening to music (and, by my previous fallacious reasoning, those who are NOT easily distracted), can be further divided into two more groups: Those who simply ignore the music, and those who actually listen to it. There is a very fine line between the two.
Those who ignore music have been gifted with the ability to focus on only one thing. Kinda like Annie, who could only focus on zoning during class. But I digress. Like (Ah! The track just switched. I am now listening to Reel Around the Sun….) those who cannot listen to music while studying, I do not fall in this group, so I will move on to the group I find more interesting; those who can actually listen to music while studying.
Those parentheses really mess up that sentence.
Ah! I’ve found out what we are. We are multi-taskers. How exactly that differs from being easily distracted, I don’t know, but it does, somehow. Perhaps just by the fact that it makes me feel better.
Actually, Zack, if you want the bare bones truth, I’m just very hyper and sensitive, and nice relaxing Catholic Masses seem to soothe my nerves. And, once my hyper-sensitivity is soothed, I can actually focus on grammar, logic, and intensely complicated problems of any type, be it Algebra or C.S. Lewis’ more complicated and deep writings.
That said, I do not really care to listen to La Musica Notturna Delle Strade Di Madrid Number 6 Opus Whatever-it-happens-to-be (30) by Lugi Boccherini. Although, from about 4:15 to 6:32 is a really neat cut. It also happens to correlate to a really neat scene at the end of Master and Commander: Far Side of the World.
Throughout my life, I have found that there are two types of people: Those who enjoy doing studies while listening to music, and those who cannot study while listening to music.
I fall in the former group. In fact, there are times where I cannot concentrate if I do not have music playing. Most of my study music sounds like what is playing right now, or is a nice, relaxing soundtrack. For me, music is a stimulant for thought and a catalyst for the written word. Just nice and softly in the background. Not blaring. I just turned my tunes down because, at the moment, they were blaring.
Another favorite, besides Catholic Masses (no, I am not Catholic, but I love their music), is Into the West, which is the song that has been played most on this computer's iTunes player.
Isn't music great?
That was a rhetorical question, Zack.
I've found that study hobbits...I mean, habits, vary, depending on the studier. When I went to Ohio, my cousin and I would often find ourselves working on differing projects in the same house, usually my aunt's house. In fact, always my aunt's house. My aunt's house is quite open, so that unless you're sitting on a bed to study (not the best when the definition of study includes a computer), you will be hearing everyone else's work.
I was reduced to listening to music through a single ear bud.
It was hard, I tell you. Especially once another cousin decided to turn on the TV.
Two girls working and one boy watching TV=one boy turning TV off.
Music is an integrated part of my life. The simple fact that I, on average, buy more than one CD per month ought to be witness to that.
Sit tight, peoples. Surprises in store...I just have to unwrap them.
BTW, just so you know, all backgrounds unless otherwise specified are from arwen-undomiel.com . Check it out, especially if you happen to be a LOTR fan.
And I discovered the one minute-thirty long bit that changes a whole lot of the movie.
Its not as sweet anymore.
That one minute-thirty second part was when Remy let the entire rat colony into the kitchen to raid the fridge. Linguini had realized he shouldn't have gotten mad at the rat for wanting Linguini to say that the great cooking wasn't "just in my blood, I guess" but was really from a little chef who pulls on his hair like stings attached to a marionette. But because Remy had decided to retaliate and raid the fridge, their relationship got worse. Linguini got mad at Remy for stealing, and Remy got offended that he had been told that he was doing something wrong.
Sure, it all worked out in the end, but that change the whole perception.
I suddenly can identify more with Linguini. How many times have I gotten mad at someone for something that wasn't major, and been ready to make up, only to find out they've done something twice as bad to me?
I can also suddenly identify better with Remy. How often has someone forgotten about me when they suddenly got good at something? How many times have I looked for a way to retaliate before either of us had time to cool off?
Speaking of cooling off, my grandmother just died. Do not expect too much updating during the next week.
Tuesday, of course, brought new surprises, along with a trip to see Ratatouille.
Besides my invader squealing over that rat and laughing over the preview for Underdog ("You don't see dogs stealing from each other..." "You don't see humans sniffing each other, either." "Hmmm...Touche.") we had a wonderful time, as I had mentioned previously. We finished off the day making Spitterdoodles---I mean, Snickerdoodles. We went through a lot of time draining the eggs instead of cracking them, as we had plans for the next day.
Oh yah, that morning I had broken an egg over my invader's head. At first my invader thought it was a real egg. Then she touched it and discovered it wasn't, which set us to laughing, and then inspired us to drain the aforementioned eggs, so we could stuff them with confetti and break them over unsuspecting people heads. Our chance came when we went to a picnic the next day....
Confetti everywhere. We had a few people react like my invader had, wondering if we had just actually broken a real egg over their heads. Then we played Apples to Apples (hilariously, of course) played ultimate, and then played hide-and-seek in the Japanese gardens. Before you complain that we're too old to be playing that, you should try it some time. Its wonderful.
Thursday brought the drawing to the end of my home invasion. We went to a street fair, which happened to have some of my friends playing there, and did some "dancing in the streets." It was during this time that my invader broke her camera. Fortunately, I was not responsible, nor did I happen to be swinging with her at that time.
*Sigh of relief*
Friday we took our Home Invader to her home.
*Larger sigh of relief*
I like my invader, but it was nice to get a full night's sleep....
10. Invaders will give weird looks if you break an egg over their heads. 9. Invaders like their own club name to be in a movie. 8. Invaders like music. It is wise to bring an invader to listen to music. 7. Do not do anything that would hold you responsible for damaging an invader's property while they are listening to music. 6. Do not tell invaders that you have never played "Apples to Apples" 5. If you do tell your invader that you have never played "Apples to Apples" make sure you have an equally fun game to teach them. 4. Bring a blanket to a picnic. 3. Play Hide and Go Seek or other childish games in Japanese gardens. This gives Invaders the chance to take cool pictures. 2. Invaders like taking cool pictures. 1. Hug your invader hard when she leaves.
There is one more picture of the glasses...that is really dorky. Unfortunately, it is on a phone that I don't have the download equipment for...something to look forward to....
Please grab a piece of paper and a pen. (Yes, for the two of you that think pens do not need to be in existance, grab a pen. That's the round thing that doesn't have an eraser on the other end.)
Okay, this is what I would like you to do. Listen to the song (you can watch the video too, but I'd like you to also listen.), and write down what it makes you think of. This can be a list of words, simple phrases, people that you think are perfectly described, anything.
Please post what you came up with!
(Hint: Your posting will help me in my creation of a post, and I don't mind crediting people in the least.)
Support yer low-cal sheriff! He's always got some weight-reducing food on hand, and is always ready to jump you through the hoops of your exercise regimen. What would the sheriff say? Go, go, go, go!
And then the temptation of Krispy-Kreme? Well, the last one in the valley just closed, and the good ol' sheriff will be more than happy to point at your gas gauge and remind you that gas is about $2.75 a gallon right now. Why not get out and take a brisk walk to the nearest jamba-juice? And make sure you get the protein boost! No, don't turn in at the starbucks. You need to be able to sleep tonight. Jamba's just up ahead...there we go.
Augh!!! NO!!! Do NOT even THINK about getting that bready item! It has sugar in it! You are simply to get a 16-oz Jamba with a protein boost. And not that dream-sickle one. Get the green tea one. That'll boost your imune system. There we go...see, its almost ready for you. Now all you need to do is walk back home and scrub the kitchen.
VIGOROUSLY! We want to clean up you! The Sheriff in Support Your Local Sheriff cleaned up the town. I'm here to clean up you! We need everything to be nice and in order so that your little house will run just as well as that little town ran under the Sheriff. And that's what I'm for! Clean! Scrub! Exercise! No coffee, no caffine, no soda, no junk! Slim down and clean out!
Don't hear it? Well, it's time to rouse your little Sheriff...Where did mine go?
Okay, let's quit being silly.
Support Your Local Sheriff is an older western movie (not too old, as it is in color) that is...pretty good, actually. The movie has a good mix of shootin' and rough-housin', along with some idiotic scenes that should make you laugh.
Story line is simple enough: Gold rush in a town, the whole world comes over to speculate, the bad guy's family takes 20% of all the gold, since the gold has to be shipped through their territory, town needs a sheriff, and James McColough just "happens to be passing through on my way to Australia." Which, he claims, is the last real frontier country. He ends up becoming the sheriff, and after lots of bang! bang!-s he defeats the bad guys, explodes Madame Orr's house (completely by accident. He didn't know the cannon was loaded!) gets married, and never makes it to Australia.
Wonderful movie. I feel a top 10 list coming on...Ought to think about that one....
It all began with a simple CXing at a simple round at a simple tournament....
The question itself was simple:
"What would your parents feel like if one of your friends just decided to invade your house?"
The answer, in fact, was even more simple:
"They wouldn't mind. They like my friends. In fact, they are quite happy with one of my friends invading this week!"
Groans all around, and a few laughs. My friend makes appropriate noises for being called an invader.
But that is what she is. I, according to the CXing debater, have just survived a home invasion.
Thus it began. After a perilous 15 minute ride to a nearby restraunt, made perilous by POTC music being played in the back seat off of a cell phone, the Invader and I donned dorky glasses and set foot outside the car.
It must be said that the glasses were increadibly dorky, and we have pictures of almost every teen at the dinner wearing one of the two pairs. I will do my best to get pictures as soon as possible.
Anyways, after we ate, we barely survived the road trip home. Evidently a car had been lit on fire, and the firefighters were just putting it out when we drove by. I don't want to know what chemicals we drove through...But, to say the least, that put a damper on our conversations.
Sunday went by quickly, and I'm sure you will see an oyiandclari story about that Sunday in early January.....
Monday was made happy by a trip to Panera's. Invaders like Panera's.
Tuesday in like manner was made happy by a trip downtown. Our little town has one of the best downtowns. Besides a nice theater (we went to see Ratatouille), Scooters has a very tasty lunch (we went there, too), the Second Hand Rose is a treasure trove (don't think that this is a clothing store...if you do, you have a whole 'nother thing coming....), Pret has overly-expensive clothes (I could make some of the dresses we tried on for a quarter of the price of the dresses on the 50% off rack), and our day was done too quickly...But we did have to stop at the grocery store, where my invader insisted on buying peanut butter.
Thus, from the first four days, I provide the following:
Tips for Survival of a Home Invasion:
10. Do not wake up the invader too early. Invaders are crabby if they get woken up too early. 9. If you MUST rouse an invader out of bed, make sure you do it with a small dog with a wet, floppy tongue. 8. Make sure you have a brand-new container of peanut butter. Invaders are suckers for peanut butter. 7. Do not kid invaders about seeing a movie they have seen three times in theaters already. Invaders may get violent.
6. Invaders like to eat at Panera's. If your invader is crabby, make sure to make a trip to Panera's.
5. Invaders are usually camera bugs. If you must break an invader's camera, make sure you do it on the last night.
4. If you must break an invader's camera, make sure you are not responsible for it.
3. If you must break and invader's camera while not being held responsible, make sure that the invader is swinging with someone very apologetic.
2. If at all possible, make invaders wear dorky glasses. (Pictures coming!)
I know, this is terribly overdue. The movie isn't even in theaters any more. But that's okay, 'cause it means I can get the multi-disc soon...Which will tell me all about how they made it, which is really really cool. * thinks about inserting a jab about OB in here, but decides that T&M won't be reading any time too soon, so it isn't worthwhile. *
Anyways, we can start out looking at the soundtrack. Very well done, very expressive. Even though I do not care for some of the pieces as stand-alones, they represent the film very well, and complement the corresponding scenes.
Next, all our computer animated friends, including Davy Jones, with his forty-someodd tentacles. Very good, looks like real things, and the parts between Davy Jones and Tia Dalma were very good. Those scenes brought out some sort of human connection for our dear departed friend, and made a bit more sense out of the nonsense parts in the second movie. But I digress.
Camera shots were quite good, although in a few places different angles may have provided better views, such as with the section about the freeing of Calypso.
I feel like an idiot...the rest of this post is delayed until I can watch the movie with a notepad and pen in hand.
All that to say that I did NOT post the correct bit the day after I posted the first one and that I've been gone for two weeks.
Anyways, to continue:
The other day, which, if I had posted when I should have would have been yesterday, but now it's not....Scrap that.
The other day, I decided to make a somewhat complicated meal for two. One thing I have known for quite a while is a complicated meal should not be made in small amounts. If you must make a complicated meal, make it so that you can have multiple servings.
But I didn't want leftovers.
Meaning I had to make it for two.
So thus I began. I had decided that a half an hour would be my aim for making this meal, and, when I finished, I had barely squeaked by. As it was, I had broken four coffee cups, shattered three water glasses, burned two fried pita breads, left a huge scorch mark on the ceiling, and generally wrecked mayhem in the kitchen.
But the meal was very good.
And nobody noticed the scorch marks, as they came off with a bit of scrubbing, the pita bread could get thrown out and replaced, we have an overabundance of coffee mugs, and water glasses can be replaced at your nearest garage sale.
All done in 1/2 hour! Don't you feel proud of me?
Alright, that's not what really happened, but that story isn't half as interesting...What good is life without exaggeration?
My dearest Aunt, the aunt we keep upstairs in the attic (we keep her sister in the basement), has this thing about food. When she knows a certain number of people will be present for a meal, she will cook for twice or three times as many. She will eat a small amount of food, after serving you enough for three. When you have somewhat successfully cleaned your plate, she will push the leftover food toward you, grunt, and point at it, demanding that you eat the food. I remember as a little tike wondering how I would be able to fit out the door to descend into mine own abode, and feeling like I was going to explode after imbibing all the food that got shoved at me. No wonder I'm overweight.
The day my mother told me, "You know, you don't have to eat everything your aunt offers you" was a day of great celebration and rejoicing. It was a feeling of empowerment to not have to eat everything that was set before me. It was like...wow. It is so hard to explain in words. I felt like I could float above the world, and fly. Plus I didn't dread climbing the stairs as much.
I had lots of weird ideas as a little tike.
As I grew older, it seemed inevitable that I would have to eat at my aunt's once or twice a year, but I made up for the excess of food by being dubbed an anorexic by the boys.
I only ate half of my PBJ.
Only half.
And I hadn't eaten breakfast.
And I wasn't planning on eating it.
And the boys, who's faces were covered with enough food to feed a tribe in Africa for a day, and who had an equal amount, if not greater, on their plates, decide I'm not eating enough.
Logan: Is that all your eating? Me: Yah. Logan: *stares* Me: What? Logan: You're anorexic.
I am NOT. I would like to weigh around 130 pounds, and that would not be considered anorexic. Now, if I weighed 130 and thought I was grossly overweight, I would beg you, my friends, to step in and help me.
But I don't.
But, anywho, this is all to say....
Wait for part 2 tomorrow to find out exactly WHY this is entitled "Cooking for Two."
It is always wise, before you go to sleep, to beware...of The Poke Monster.
This is someone you may not want to be scared of. Infact, I know several Poke Monsters. They are usually very nice, although one of them has a tendency to attempt to poke her finger in the light socket(that's my mad scientist friend). My other Poke Monster has other nicknames too, but doesn't answer to some of them. Anyways, the Poke Monsters work in shifts, so there really is only one on duty at the time. One lives in the Cup and Platter, or nearby, at least, and the other lives down south, and comes up to visit me when she thinks I'm in desperate need of a poke.
But they are both Poke Monsters. Things characteristic of a Poke Monster:
10. They usually dwell in hot, deserty places.
9. They are masters of "Pip-fu" (a way of fighting invented by Pippin)
8. They turn FaunSong into a duck by poking her magic button
7. They like throwing/mixing things in/with water
6. Try to fool you into letting down your guard by being very quiet before poking
5. They like to ding people in IM conversations
4. They poke you for no reason
3. They do it very sweetly
2. They claim you started it
1. They like fudgesicles
Seeing all of these characteristics at one time can be very interesting. Watch for the fudge lines around the mouth, and be sure to warn Fauny if you see more than one sign of a Poke Monster. I like it when Fauny can talk, not quack.
*Squeaks, and tries to avoid a poke*
Run for your lives, peoples!!!!!
~A City
Thanks to Ellesar (a confirmed Poke Monster) and FaunSong612 for helping me compile my list.
"Drama Queen said... Hi! im hollys friend, and i LOVED your POTC 3 review! i found it helped me understand it better."
I'm glad somebody like it. DQ, you made my day. I'll make sure Hol's nice to you in the Touche stories. I will, I will, I will. :)
Well, I have just returned from the theaters. Despite the fact that Pirates 3 is still showing, I did not go and see it again. Instead, we went and saw Ratatouille(Rat-a-too-ee). Ah, what a wonderful ratfullness that movie had!! Since it is much less complex than movies like Pirates, one post will do.
For a movie about cooking, it was quite exciting. Where else can you get washed through a drainage system on a cooking book? Wake an old lady up with saffron? Like the bad guy 'cause he's so short that he has to carry a stepladder around with him to see what everyone is doing? See a kitchen get taken over by rats--and produce the best meals in Paris? Okay, that was a bit interesting...For those of you that have rats (Ahem, Hol) you may want to start training them. Of course, the movie wasn't all wonderful. You can't seem to have a movie made by Disney or Pixar without having the Dad be wrong. Ratatouille was no exception. Dad was wrong. If Dad had just let Remy follow his dreams, everything would be fine. But, this was only a slight undertone, and didn't detract too much from the film as a whole.
The movie, of course, is completely animated, and very nicely, I must add. Directed by Brad Bird, the movie is quite funny, but not dirty, even though it is about rats. It deals with success, and encourages Remy to follow his dreams. After meeting Linguini (whose name sounds oddly like something that would be served at an Italian restaurant), the two pair up and work up becoming the best Chef in Paris. Toward the end, Linguini forgets the importance of his rat friend, but quickly remembers when things start going wrong.
The movie starts with Linguini getting his head banged against the wall by aliens, then switches to Remy. Remy and his brother cause some trouble, which makes the whole clan have to leave their home. Remy gets separated from the rest of the rats because he tried to save Gusteau's cookbook from the house. He succeeded in saving the cookbook, but as a result got separated from his family. He ends up floating off to Paris, and then...He falls through a roof into the kitchen of the famed deceased Chef's restaurant. After a mad chase through the kitchen, Remy is about to escape through an open window, when he realizes that Linguini has made a mess of a soup. He quickly begins to fix the soup, and ends up making a creation of his own. Everyone thinks that Linguini made it, and the head chef, who has no use for Linguini, tells him he will have to recreate the soup.
Then they find the rat. After a mad chase, Remy gets captured. Linguini takes him out to throw him in the river, but starts telling the rat his woes. After realizing that the rat can understand him, the two form a pact, in which Remy will learn to control Linguini's cooking by pulling on his hair.
About this time, the rest of the rat pack has also found its way to Paris, and the family is reunited. However, Remy's Dad wants him to give up cooking, and Remy wants nothin' doing. Remy begins stealing scraps and feeding his brother and some friends the food.
In the next few days, Remy finds that the door to where the food is kept is locked. In his hunt to find the key, he finds Gusteau's will, and a letter explaining the Linguini is Gusteau's heir, and the restaurant is supposed to be given to him. Remy takes the papers to show to Linguini, but Skinner, the head chef and the man that should have owned the restaurant in the case that no heir appeared, finds him and makes a mad chase to catch the rat. Remy, however, escapes, and Linguini is put as the rightful heir just two days before the date that would allow Skinner to own the restaurant.
Then, of course, Linguini and Remy have a falling out, but when a prominent food critique comes to the restaurant, the two straighten it out. But, unfortunately, that means that Linguini ends up losing all of his kitchen crew, including Colette, who has been falling in love with Linguini, and visa versa. But, as Colette goes home, she sees Gusteau's book, "Anyone can Cook" in the window of a store. As she thinks about it, she decides to turn around and go help Linguini. She returns to find the kitchen overrun with rats. Remy had decided to do something to help Linguini, so while Linguini waits tables on roller skates, several hundred rats do the kitchen work (Remy being the conscientious rat he is, makes them all go through the dishwasher before cooking). Colette, after a moment of repulsion, immediately jumps in and starts to work. The prominent food critique absolutely loves the food (Remy had given him a special version of Ratatouille), and wishes to see the cook. At the end of the evening, he is introduced to the rat behind it all, and, surprisingly, rights a wonderful review about it.
One thing I didn't mention, though, was the health inspector had shown up in the middle of all the rats cooking. The rats had tied him up until the evening was over, but as a result of seeing all the rats, the restaurant was closed down, and the food critique lost his reputation. However, he decided to invest in a new restaurant ran by Linguini and Colette, called La Ratatouille.
Great Books Class Bad Poetry Nathaniel, Abby, Logan, Claire
Now listen good people, And hear me tell, The tragic tale of Attila the Bun, Hero of the commons.
There once was a city, Geneva, A European Union of United Nations Gathered to have a convention, With noble Jack Iraq the 14th.
Their convention's objective Was inventing new torture, Namely, to panic. Or so thought the commons.
Panic was the reaction of the commons, But one Attila the Bun Was too dumb to panic He baked his pastries and tastries.
Attila, he also made Cookies of terrible smell To solve his addiction To mustard.
But alas! The panic that convention ensued! The chief cause of panic was That none entering the castle Had ever returned.
Attila the Bun Went on a run, To deliver his pastries To the dreadful nobles.
Attila entered the convention And smelled the greatest smell. He saw a pile of bones and heard The sound of munching.
Further investigating, Attila discovered behind the bare bones, Jack Iraq the 14th, Eating turkey and hurling bones.
With Jack Iraq sat Some good people: Dear friends, three friends, Of Attila the Bun.
The youngest was a Viking Bowman, Strong, and of good aim. Short and stout with a steady hand, His strength had won him fame.
The next, Attila's brother. In fact, his twin. Grown up together They both a-chewin' Fine mustard cookies. Yum.
The last, a hobbit, That lived in a Hoel. A light haired and light aired Sure one was he.
These three sat With Jack Iraq the 14th And on their laps they were holding Plates, and bowls, and cups, and cutlery.
In these were fowl, Soups, and English tea, And now to a saucer, Attila placed his pastries and sweet tastries.
"Stay! Eat! Be merry!" Said the good Jack Iraq. "We wish not for needless wars, But for needful peace."
Attila, alas! He was too dumb. He smiled and bowed, said he would come later. Then he skipped out the door And called the town crier.
"Go!" He said, "Tell the people! Gather the small and the tall To my pastry shop, And I'll give you a penny."
The crier ran and yelled as he went "Foes! Famine! Flood! Go to Attila the Bun! Meet him at the pastry shop! It's at the corner of the square!"
The people they ran, in a hurry they were, To see what had happened. With pitchforks and knives, With tin pans and horns, they ran.
There Attila did greet them. "Put your forks down! And your horns away! This is no war, but peace I say.
"Let us go to the castle And there let us eat! These good kings Have prepared us a treat!"
So leaving their weapons The people, they ran To the castle they went They ooed and they aahed
Impressed so they were To see such abundance, Such great wonder At this time of the year.
So Attila the Bun became a hero. But this was not to last long, I fear. For dear Attila, he curled up and died From O.D.ing on sugar, and that, from a pie.
Special Thanks to Nano, Abby, and Logan, who were willing to be so weird and write oddities with me. I don't know if they know this is here.....
But my snappy ran away. Can you help me find my snappy? Perhaps it fell into One Night in a Museum. Or, perhaps I could say,
"My dinosaur, Rexy, ate it."
In case you're wondering, I saw One Night(Museum Version, not to confuse with One Night with the King) the other day. Perhaps I should tell the story of how I happened to see it before I talk about it.
A friend of mine happened to be having her birthday party Friday night. After arriving late, and finishing some birthday present scheming when the birthday girl wasn't looking, we all piled in to start One Night. We all became instant fans of the snapper, as none of us could snap. After watching the first fifteen minutes, it was time to go make our pizzas for dinner. Everyone made their own. In the old Sarge technique, I put lots and lots of cheese on, with other items. After the pizzas went into the oven, we all went back and watch fifteen or twenty more minutes of the movie.
After retrieving our pizzas, we returned to the couch to watch some more, wondering what on earth was up with this guy who decided to invent a snapper, as everyone could snap, even those of us who were sitting on the floor because we weren't smart enough to get a seat.
So we watched the movie, entranced by the wonderful performances. Everybody loves Dick Van Dyke, don't they? The old night guard was just wonderful. So nice to show Larry around, and help him feel at home. He also had enough humour, as we saw when he scared Larry with an Aztec (or something) costume. We thought it was great, and looked forward to spending a Night in the Mueseum with Larry.
But then the dinosaur went missing. Bad dino.
So thus, the adventures began. Besides Larry getting the nickname Dum-Dum from the Easter Island Head Guy, he met Jed and the Centurion. Jed and the Centurion were wonderful. Weren't they cute, so small and petit?(No e if it's for a guy.) They couldn't have been more than an inch tall. Rexy, with his dog like characteristics, would be a wonderful homework eater. Actually, Dexter (the monkey) would be a better excuse. Can't you just hear some little kid talking to his teacher?
"Dexter ate my homework." "Who's Dexter?" "The monkey where my dad works." "Does your dad work at the zoo?" "Oh no. He's the night guard at the natural and ancient history museum."
Anyways, Larry somehow survives his first night and promptly went to go read "An Idiot's Guide to Attilla the Hun"*
Because of his research (he read other books, too) he returned armed to the museum for One Night in the Museum, 2. Or, rather, his second night in the same museum, same movie. He's a bit more crafty, but makes the mistake of giving a lighter to the cavemen, who "light hair on fire." One of the cavemen wanders outside and gets caught out after dawn. Street sweeper comes along, and whoops!!! No more caveman. Larry gets in trouble again, and almost loses his job.
Night 3, Larry returns with his son. Excitement insues; the old guards have decided to steal the tablet that makes the museum come to life, and end up locking Larry and his son into the area where the mummy is.
Bad idea. Larry lets the mummy out of his casket, and the mummy sits up and pulls his facecloth off to reveal...a twenty year old boy, the owner of the tablet.
The whole museum gets on the search for the bad guys, but not until the Easter Island head thing proclaims,
"My Dum-Dum wants to speak." (Easily my favorite line from this flick!)
Eventually, riding Texas, Larry catches up with the lead bad guy. The used to be mummy and Larry's son are riding the dinosaur. They retrieve the tablet from Dick Van Dyke's character, who was really nasty to be so mean to Larry and try to frame him for stealing the tablet.
The world returns to beautiful.
Larry almost loses his job again, but through a twist gets to keep it.
Perhaps slated to be the longest of any of my posts. The main people who will get the brunt of my critique:
1.Willy Wonka
2.Queen Amadala
3.Leglolas Greenleaf
Oh...Oops. Let me try this again.
1. Johnny Depp
2. Kira Knightly
3. More Orlando Bloom
4. Bill Nighly
5. Geoffrey Rush
6. Everyone else
Now...Johnny Depp...As usual, he did a very good job acting, although Jack seems to be getting weirder and weirder. I did, however, like his different renditions of himself in Davy Jones' locker and cell. No special odities or funny stories to go here. Sorry, mates.
Kira Knightly...I had been afraid when I saw the second movie that Kira had lost the wonderful skill of portraying her character that she showed in the first movie. Thankfully, it reappears in the third, although she does have some moments when she lapses back, such as during the freeing of Calpso.
(More) Orlando Bloom...What can I say that won't drive certain persons nuts? Love the eyebrows and innocent looks....
Bill Nighly...Wonderful acting, and I still love the lip-pop noise. No matter how hard I or my friends try, we can't seem to duplicate it...Great facial, voice and everything else. I know that Jones was computer animated, but most of that actually came from Nighly's acting....
Geoffrey Rush...Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together in the sight of God and man....Very good, love it. I like the monkey, too!!! Eye rolls are wonderful.....Think I like the dot dots?
Everybody else...I like Tia Dalma's facial expressions, along with her accent. The cool thing about her accent is that it didn't vary, as some will. Calpso's exploding...was okay. The problem I had with that scene was I didn't really care for the score, and there were a few tech problems. Beautiful girl, what a goregous creature....wait....
Why am I writting about Pirates when I'm listening to Singing In The Rain?
Oh!!! The Commadore!!! Wonderful acting, you could see his thoughts on his face. Those cuffs were huge....
Ummmm....I like how the two English soliders reapeared in the last movie...I was sad when they didn't show up in the second one. I really thought it was funny when they turned into pirates.
I'm leaving eeeeeeaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrllllllyyyyyyyy tomorrow morning, and won't return until Friday. I'll do my best to get the posts for POTC out when I return, and before I leave again.
God Bless and Break a leg to the following people at Nationals:
TPers: Sam & Allison, Logan & Courtney Joy, Trevor & Jessica, Nic & Kat, Jeana & Ben, Kirby & Kelsey
Speech: Anthony, Holly, Mark, Jessica, Logan , Courtney Joy, Sam, Trevor, (Envoy rocks, you guys!!!)Nic, Kat, Princess Weemie, Grace, Mackenzie (I'm sure you qualified in SOMETHING), Jessie, the rest of the Claires (you guys never sent me a full list of what you did!!!), Patrick, Dan (go Vikings!), Alex (you gotta tell me what color it feels like), Chrim, Ben, Kelsey, Kirby, and all my other So Cal friends that I know you qualified, but ya'll confuse me too much to remeber who did what.
General Critiques, including discrepancies from previous movies.
This one isn't exactly the high point of my critique, but it will do.
Oh!!! And an announcement!!! Taking the place of my experience at the theater with this movie will be a very special post. It will still deal with POTC, but it will also be dedicated to a very special blog. Stay tuned for part eight. :)
Other than that...ah yes, critiques. Discrepancies:
1) As previously mentioned, Elizabeth's hair changes.
2) Will has an earring. Now, this especially irks me, because I don't really care for earrings, unless they are in very good taste on certain women. When anyone who does not fall in the category of a woman-with-earrings-of-very-good-taste gets an earring, I am hurt and offended. It just isn't right. Okay, I don't even wear the danglies.
3) Barbossa's hat comes back. Jack had whacked it mostly to destruction in the first movie.
4) Skirts on women appear and disappear. I think the same thing might have happened with some jewelry, but I'm not quite sure about it.
To note, some of my friends and I call this the "hat problem." This has a somewhat long story, so let me take you to another time and place that speaks of a man, like Jack, who had a very precious hat. This man, however, was an archeologist. His name was....drum roll, please....Indiana Jones!!!
In every fight that Indiana Jones gets into, his hat is (supposedly) never knocked off. When the films were made, lots of movies had hats getting knocked off repeatedly during fight scenes. So the producers decided that Indiana Jones' hat would not get knocked off.
So for some reason, when ever something appears and then disappears, we call it a hat.
So yah. There was a tiny bit of hats.
I was planning on sticking the following in Actor Critiques, but I'll stick it here because 1) This post isn't very long, and the Actor Critiques one will be, 2) I've been making fun of Orlando Bloom, so I want to even it out, and 3) I'm not really sure where this would belong anyways.
There is a scene where Will is on the Flying Dutchman, and is having tea with Lord Beckett. Please note for this scene that the boat is out of the middle of nowhere, and only because you've seen previous scenes do you know how he got here. Davy Jones doesn't know. But anyways, Beckett summons Davy Jones to the cabin, where he discovers dear old Will and Beckett having a nice tea together. Throughout the time in the cabin, Will mentions little odds and ends that are important to either Davy Jones of Beckett that they didn't know previously. Whenever he says something important to Davy Jones, Jones looks at him. Will, with a complete look of innocence on his face says,
"Oh...didn't Jack tell you that?"
Of course, Davy Jones didn't know that Jack wasn't in the locker anymore.
I know this wasn't the swellest post, but I would like to say one thing: For those of you who think Orlando Bloom can't act, hold your tongue until you see this scene.
Now tell me, could you do that? And make it look like you were just having a civilized cup of tea? And keep a straight face?
Chances are, you couldn't.
Sorry, S. Sorry, Boys.
I will now retire to my den and laugh evilly over the next post(s).
As I have now actually completed telling you MOST of the storyline, I have to leave something to make all four of you want to go see the movie...wait, I think you've already seen it...grrr....Well, to make you want to go see it again. That work?
Anyways, now that we have established what happens in the movie....
I must interrupt myself. I have been kicking myself since early this morning because I forgot to post something important!!!!! So, I edited and added it in, but I'll paste it here so that you don't have to go trawling for it:
It is somewhat hard to describe a battle scene, especially when you've only seen it once. One important part is that Will and Elizabeth get married in the middle of the fight.
Will: Elizabeth, will you marry me? Elizabeth: I don’t think now is the best time!!!!
Will replies that it might be the only time. Then they both yell at Barbossa to marry them.
Barbossa: I’m kinda busy right now!!! Will: Barbossa!!! Marry us!!! Barbossa (Slices and jabs, fires a gun) Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today in the sight of God and men….
Ah yes...a wonderful sequence. Now, back to our feature presentation, as dear hol says on a regular basis.
Costumes: The costumes were very well done. The only problem I had with the costumes were 1) The skimpiness of some of Elizabeth's costumes and 2) sudden changes of costumes when clothing changes wouldn't have been easily accomplished, and shouldn't have happened.
1) Skimpy clothing: several of Elizabeth's costumes go quite far up the thigh. This is somewhat of an annoyance, and detracts from her image overall. Lower the skirt six inches, and you'd keep the beauty and her good image.
2) At several points costumes are suddenly changed when they shouldn't have been. An example is Elizabeth's costume when Sao Feng's boat is attacked. The costume is very unique and looks a certain way while Sao Feng dies. Elizabeth goes up to the main deck, and her costume goes through a change. When was that supposed to happen? Unless I terribly missed something, it wasn't.
Another point that illustrates both of the above is when Calypso is freed. Calypso's floor-length dress suddenly shortens several feet, and is at the point of great impropriety, especially when there are camera shots looking up at her.
I like the English soldier’s costumes.
Admiral Norrington has some HUGE cuffs on his coat jacket sleeves.
Some neat costume changes includes Will's when he changes into Captain Turner. His shirt color changes. And his hair seems to get an inch longer. And it gets curlier. And he is wearing a bandanna. And he has a huge scar on his chest. And for the first time, Orlando Bloom appears to be...manly? Well, anything is possible, I suppose. (Please note, T, that this last comment was instituted by a dear friend of mine and is not necessarily the opinion of the editor, as my binders can proudly attest. :P)
Aesthetic elements~Prosthetics...as usual, wonderful false teeth. Sarge claims that Jack Sparrow's teeth are whiter than before, but I'd have to watch the two movies side-by-side to be able to prove or disprove that. At one point, Barbossa's nails are no longer black, but then return to their previous condition in later shots. When the frostbitten toe gets broken off...ewwwww.
~Hair...wonderfully done. In this movie, Elizabeth's hair lends itself much better to her actions then it did in Dead Man's Chest. It has obviously been cut, but it doesn't go through different lengths, as in DMC. (To note real quick, the different lengths were 1) at the wedding--she had stray danglies that appear no where else in the movie--, 2)when she "barters" with Beckett and 3) everything after her escape.) Jack gets more hair when Barbossa disappears with his boat, Murtogg and Mullroy's (I think that is their names….) hair seems to grow a few inches when they become pirates. I really like Will's hair...it never seems to change except when it is absolutely necessary, unlike the previously mentioned peoples.
~Sets...Wonderful. No huge problems here...I didn't really catch any huge inconsistencies.
~Hmmm...I think that's it. You may want to check back, though. I may end up kicking myself again because I left something I thought was important out.
Thus have the adventurers come so far, yet are still in the locker. How will they get out? They're wondering that, too.
And they don't know the answer.
Jack is messing with the map, and finds a part that says "up is down." They have to get out of this middling place between life or death between sunset...If they don't, they will be forever doomed to sail between the seas of the living, and the seas of the dead. Jack gets them all running back and forth, trying to get the ship to flip over. Finally it does, the green flash appears (see movie for details about the flash) and they flip over again, landing right side up and in the seas of our world. So they return. Now that they are back in our world, they can continue to the meeting of the Pirate Lords, but not before Will betrays Jack and Barbossa, Sao Feng betrays Will, Beckett betrays Sao Feng and Jack betrays Beckett. Savvy?
Hope so. A lot more betraying goes on, as Jack also betrays Will, and Will turns on almost everybody. During this time, he has tea with Beckett and riles Davy Jones' feathers...or his tentacles...More about that later, in actor critiques.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth lands on Sao Feng's ship, Sao Feng gets killed, but before he dies, he makes Elizabeth captain, and tells her to take his place at the brethren court. He also gives her his "piece of eight." The ship is captured by Davy Jones, under the command of Admiral Norrington (Jack Davenport) as Sao Feng dies. Elizabeth chooses to stay with her crew instead of taking Norrington's cabin. That night, Norrington helps Elizabeth and her crew escape, and gets killed in the process. Elizabeth and her crew head out to Shipwreck Cove, where the meeting of the brethren is. A note about Shipwreck Cove:
Jack: Us pirates are not very inventive with names. Gibbs: ? Jack: Shipwreck Town in Shipwreck Cove on Shipwreck Island. You know, I used to know a pirate who had lost both arms, one leg and part of his eye. Gibbs: What'd you call him? Jack: Larry.
So the brethren court meet, act like a bunch of pirates, and elect Elizabeth Swann the Pirate Queen. She wins by one vote--Jack Sparrow's. She promptly goes out to parley with the enemy (the three from the East India Company: Beckett, Davy Jones and Will. The three from the pirates: Jack, Barbossa and Elizabeth.) Everyone (except for Jack) agree to trade Will and Jack, and get back to fighting. At this point, the pirates release Calypso...Details in the movie, quite complicated and doesn't have much to do with my critique.
Everybody fights.
This is a GREAT (yes, all caps and italicized...I'd underline, too, but I can't seem to get it to work.) battle scene, wonderful in just about every way. It is somewhat hard to describe a battle scene, especially when you've only seen it once. One important part is that Will and Elizabeth get married in the middle of the fight.
Will: Elizabeth, will you marry me? Elizabeth: I don’t think now is the best time!!!!
Will replies that it might be the only time. Then they both yell at Barbossa to marry them.
Barbossa: I’m kinda busy right now!!! Will: Barbossa!!! Marry us!!! Barbossa (Slices and jabs, fires a gun) Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today in the sight of God and men….
Other than that, let it suffice that Jack goes and does a little bit more surfing in Switzerland (he's imagining multiple Jack Sparrows, again. "Nobody move!!! I dropped my brain."), then goes and battles Davy Jones for the chest and the key, is holding the heart in his hand, when Will gets stabbed, ironically enough with a sword that he made in the first movie, and is dieing. There is only one way to save Will.
He (Will) must stab the heart.
He stabs. Jack takes Elizabeth away in a makeshift parachute while Will's heart is cut out and put in the chest. (No, you do not see the heart getting cut out.) The Flying Dutchman disappears under the waves, and then resurfaces with a new Captain: Captain Turner. The Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman then both go across opposite sides of the E-something (Beckett's lead ship...I couldn't quite read the name of the ship) and destroy it. Beckett has failed, and I presume, is now dead.
The Pearl returns to Tortuga.
Barbossa makes off with the Pearl and...well, if you want to know what happens, watch the movie. I will leave you with one little tid-bit about the plotline, though.
Will can only set foot on land once every ten years now. He and Elizabeth spend their last day together for the next ten years. Make sure you wait until after the credits are over to see what happens ten years later.
We left off with Will banging the really bad-bad guys over the head with a bar. Next, everyone escapes to...go find Jack. We now have Will, Elizabeth, Barbossa, Tia Dalma, the charts, a boat and a crew.
Let's cut to Jack, as he is more important to my post at this point in time. I'll leave you all to wonder how the previous peoples get to Davy Jones' locker. If you really want to know, watch the movie.
Anyways, Jack:
The scene opens with...a nose. A Very Large Nose. The nose sniffs, and continues to sniff, as it walks forward and then discovers a peanut. It is at this point that you can actually see something more than a nose, and discover that the afforementioned nose belongs to no other than...Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). Sparrow takes a napkin, ties it around his neck and prepares to eat his peanut with a fork and knife when he is suddenly shot. You see that he is shot by Jack Sparrow, who simply says,
"My peanut."
It turns out that the crew is made up of Jack Sparrows. Jack is the Captain, First mate, coxswain, carpenter, sailor-before-the-mast, etc. Very confusing, and very weird.
Jack's gone mad.
Finally, Jack the Captain proclaims to all the other Jacks,
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness." And swings down off of the ship to land in...the salt flats of Utah. (Technically, this is supposed to be Davy Jones' locker....)
He walks around, observing his ship, and then sees a rock. He picks it up and throws it away from the ship and turns to find....
A rock.
He picks that rock up and throws it away from the ship. The rock lays where he threw it for a few moments, and then starts to wobble and crack. Meanwhile, Jack tries to pull his ship by sheer manpower, and, since he is the only man, finds he can't do it. But fulfilling the definition of insanity, he continues to do the same thing over and over again, expecting different results each time.
The rock finishes cracking open and becomes a granite crab. It slides over to a bunch of other rocks, taps its claws, and the other rocks begin to wobble and crack and turn into granite crabs.
Jack passes out from either exhaustion or from being beat by his ship. The crabs crawl over and start moving the ship. Jack wakes up to find that his ship is running away from him. So, he runs after it.
At this point, the ship that everyone who was in Singapore but is now in Davy Jones' locker comes ashore. I would like to mention here, I don't know why I didn't do this in the previous post, but the fight scene in Singapore is fantastic...especially what the monkey and the parrot do. Definately a must-see.
Their boat is destroyed, and they are all sopping wet. They start discussing how they are going to find Jack on this barren wasteland, when his ship comes "sailing" over the sand, with him on board. The ship sails from the sand into the sea, and Jack returns in a row boat. He thinks everyone is part of his imagination, and so they all take time bickering over that. It is in the middle of the bickering that Jack says one of my favorite lines from the trailer:
"Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you tried to kill me. One of you suceeded." Everyone looks at Elizabeth. Will looks hurt. She didn't tell him.
Finally, everyone ends up on board. After sailing for a while and some very interesting conversation (again, I won't tell you everything that happens in the movie....), the ship sails by those who have died at sea, those whom Davy Jones was supposed to sea to the afterlife. He has neglected that duty.
Here something very very sad happens. To cut really quickly to discussing actor's performances, this scene was done wonderfully by Kiera Knightly. It is at this point that Elizabeth discovers that Beckett killed her father and dumped his body overboard. Kiera does a wonderful job expressing the pain and emotions that any girl would feel if they found out like this that their Daddy had died.
Yes, second true day in theaters, and I have attended, and am now ready to critique, Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End.
It was wonderful. I suppose one of the FCN staff will growl at me for saying that (we talked a bit earlier about this), but I am hoping his two companions will restrain him from hurting me, unless they decide to turn on me too. In that case, I appeal to you, my other friends, to hide me and protect me. :P
To be able to accurately present to you the wonder of this movie, I am going to divide this into eight parts. Please note that these parts only graze the top of the movie.
Part 1: Storyline/Plotline, Sub-Part 1
Part 2: Storyline/Plotline, Sub-Part 2
Part 3: Storyline/Plotline, Sub-Part 3
Part 4: Costumes/Asthetic Elements
Part 5: General Critiques, including discrepencies from previous movies
Part 6: Actor Critques
Part 7: Technological (including sound) Critiques
Part 8: What happened before (and after) I saw the movie
So to begin: Storyline/Plotline
The movie starts out with the hanging of probably near a hundred people from Port Royale (I didn't think their population was large enough to handle this!!!), all in the form of mass hangings. These people, comprised of men and women, young and old, have all been arrested for at any time in their life either being, having contact, aiding or setting eyes on a pirate. Those who aid the East India Company are miraculously exempted from this. The way this scene is put together is quite good, despite the morbidness of it. An official is reading a list of rights that have been "temporarily" removed. After he names a right, you see the hangman pullback the lever and about eight pairs of feet fall through. Now, LDers, pay attention here. Some very important rights were removed, show that the East India Company actually undervalued democracy. Lost rights included:
Right to Assembly
Right to Trial by Jury of Peers
Right of Expressed Opinion
Etc.
The scene continues like this until a small boy walks up to the gallows, preparing to be hung. He holds a small piece of silver in his hand (a piece of eight) and, while looking at it and turning it, begins to sing. The other doomed prisoners hear the song and begin to sing with him. (The song is NOT Yo-ho, yo-ho a pirate's life for me.)
In the next scene, we meet a young caucasian woman paddling a boat and softly singing the same song. She is in Singapore, and sings softly as she paddles past both locals and soldiers from the East India Company. She docks her boat and is stopped by three locals, who tell her that it is very bad for her to be singing that song, especially since she is a woman, a caucasian, and alone. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) then suddenly appears, and says that she isn't alone. The woman, if you haven't guessed, is Elizabeth (Kiera Knightly). The three locals then escort Elizabeth and Barbossa into the Bathouse, where Sao Feng awaits them. But before they can enter, they have to give up all their weapons. Elizabeth has an interesting aray, and and interesting way of giving them out. Some of this is quite funny. However, I will leave you to your imagination, or to see the movie, on this point.
In the bathouse, it is discovered that Will (Orlando Bloom) has been caught trying to steal a certain map to Davy Jones' (Bill Nighly) locker. Barbossa and Elizabeth deny knowing Will, and Will almost gets killed. Then everyone turns on Barbossa and Elizabeth, but their good pals throw some weapons up through the cracks in the floor and the two are instantly armed. Suddenly, the East India Trading Companie's Soldiers burst in, and everybody starts fighting them, since they are the real bad guys. Will, who had his hands tied to a bar, does a wonderful job of fighting using the bar with his hands tied to it, and an even better job of fighting once someone cuts the ropes that tie his hands to it.
What I did for that long period of time where I wasn't at home, and I wasn't musing over what to write here, I was up at a retreat. Besides having wonderful oportunities to council a few girls, I did experience many other wonderful things. The coolest one of all, literally, was a trip to Bridgeport.
Bridgeport, as you might have guessed, has some water located in it, in the form of a river. The river is pretty cool, temperature wise and look wise. What is really fun is wading in it. The water will come up pretty high, depending on were you wade. I skirt the outside of it so that it wouldn't get much higher than my waist. Trying to cross a river without getting much deaper is kinda hard.
But I succeeded.
In the process, I banged up my toes and bruised my feet, to the point that it was painful to walk later that evening. But it was worth it.In the middle of the river is a huge rock. We found this most valuable for sitting on and drying off on if you got your clothes wet. It was also fun to try to climb on the rocks without falling into the water.
I am proud of myself. I kept my clothes pretty dry and I did NOT fall in.
Others did. I didn't.
Thanks to all of you that made that trip special, for wading across the river, slicing apples and bringing that yummy carmel-ish stuff we dipped the apples in.
And he got Oyi to help him, naughty little girl. :P
It happened quite simply, like this:
I was on the internet, chatting away with Oyi, when I suddenly got an invite to chat with a username that looked very weird. I asked Oyi if she knew who this was. She asked some questions about he/she/it, then told me to accept the invite. I quote myself:
me: who is _____ ? Oyi: Who? me: Who is that? do you know? Oyi: Is he/she talking to you or something? me: it wants to chat with me. Oyi:Accept the invite me: And say what? Oyi: You don't have to say anything. Just start by accepting the invite. That just means it added you to its buddy list me: Okay....I'm trusting you. Please don't steer me wrong. Do you know who this is? Oyi? I'm scared. Oyi: What's he saying? me: Nothing. He's busy. Oyi: Ungh brb me: Who is it? OYI!!!! DON"T LEAVE ME!!!! Oyi: Back Ah yeah, I know ____. me: So do I/ The silly. Oyi: He's perfectly harmless.
Yah, he's perfectly harmless. Very harmless. Our conversation begins:
Ty: Did you know that in foreign countries, licking doorknobs is a crime punishable by death and/or taxes? me: Who are you? Ty: Bored. me: Is this M? Ty: Probably not. me: Do you carry around tissue boxes growling "my prescious"? (long story, I'll tell later if you really want to know) Ty: Could be, though. That'd be really cool. I wish I did me: Is this someone I know? Ty: Unless you've forgotten me: Where would I know you from? Ty: Clear your cerebral cortex, the answer will come... me: E? Ty: In the meantime, (some addy) So close. me: (I figure out who it is) TY!!!! You silly!!! Ty: I was just starting to have fun, too. me: Okay, I'll pretend I didn't realize that this is Ty.
Etc.
They were being vewwy Naughty. With an accent. This is wierd. And I rewarded their naughty conduct with a post. Tsk tsk.
I think they are fun. In small quantities. However, when I get multiple forwards multiple times, they lose their funny side and become annoying.
Such was the case today.
I received the same forward twice within five minutes. By checking who the forward was sent to, I can predict that I will receive it anywhere from 0 to 4 more times.
I am annoyed.
When I receive a forward, there are several options as to what to do:
1. Read the forward
2. Read and respond
3. Read and delete
4. Read and send to multiple people in the same circles so that they will receive the same forward multiple times.
5. Forget to read and leave unopened in my inbox for six months.
It is quite tempting to enact the fourth option. This was the case today. As I read through this forward (I more skimmed then read, but whatever.) I was tempted to send this little e-mail to several people...that I knew had already gotten it, and, when I sent it to certain other people, would most likely receive it several more times.
The temptation was great. I sat for a few minutes, deep in thought. Should I? or should I show a bit of mercy? My hand slowly reached for the mouse....
I didn't send it. Perhaps I should...perhaps I shall...but I think I will move it to a new category, the infamous sixth category:
Leave it in my inbox until it falls into obscurity.
Pain...what good is it? Pain is usually associated with something bad...but this week, I have discovered the Gift of Pain.
I have a condition where, every little while, the nerve running down the back of my leg will get pinched, resulting in immense back pain, while removing my ability to run, jump, and other forms of monkeying around that need your legs. When that nerve gets pinched, doing such things is out of the question. Too much pain.
While limping around the house and growling at my nerves, I thought of something I had done a looooooooooong time ago when I was very little. I don't know if I had skinned my knee or what, but something had happened that made my leg utter complaints to its owner every time skin or muscle changed position. What I had decided at that point, as a little girl, was to thank God every time my leg hurt until that wound healed. That was one annoying time, especially when I needed to go up stairs, but I found that I didn't really have huge longings for things I couldn't do. Instead of longing to go outside and run, I found that our bookshelves had dozens of very interesting--and sometimes dusty--books. I also found myself thankful that I would be able to use my leg again, unlike other people, who couldn't.
A story that comes to mind is, I believe, from the book Ten Fingers for God. A certain doctor that dealt specifically with leprosy spent a long day traveling. When he arrived at his destination, he discovered that he had lost feeling in a certain area of his foot. Prepared for the worst, he decided to go to bed and map out the effected area the next morning. The next morning he began to map the area by sticking a pin into his skin. He pricked himself with the pin in the middle of the effected area and let out a loud yell. His circulation had been cut off while he had been traveling, explaining for the loss of feeling. I bet that pain had never felt quite as good as it did at that time.
But that still doesn't make me very happy about my back.
Although, through pain, I have discovered what toes are for. To find furniture in the dark. That still doesn't make me very happy about my back pains.
For days I have been searching for what, exactly, about this pain is my gift. I finally found it. Because of where the pinched nerve is located, it hurts to bend over. If I want to pick anything up off of the floor I have to sink down to my knees and then rise in the same manner. Sort of the "lift with your legs, not your back" thing. I also must do my best to keep my shoulders parallel to my hips. Any movement shifting my shoulders from that position hurts. But, because I cannot bend over and my body must stay straight, my posture has improved. I used to have a terrible back hump for someone my age.
Because of my pain, I've received a new gift: a better posture. I think that is better than mapping the floor of my house with my toes.
I must explain about Chippy's smile. Earlier, I had ended a story with "Did I ever tell you about Chippy's smile? Now...that is another story...."
Evidently, several people wanted to know about Chippy's smile. Now. So, I will tell the tale of the Chippy's smile.
Chippy is a young hispanic CHP officer that, in the previous story, gave us a ride. And, in the previous story, he had given a girl a ticket for rolling through a stop sign. I entered the car after that point. As before, I was sitting sandwiched between two guys, when Chippy decided to pull a vehicle over for speeding. Chippy got out of the CHP car and walked over to the passenger window and began asking the driver the usual questions. After he asked each question, he would quickly glance back at us, sitting in the car.
"Watch for the smile...he's gonna smile...ya just...gotta...look close!!!!" One of the guys had said. We all laughed, and watched intently for Chippy to smile.
Not blinking for five minutes can really dry your eyes out.
Just as I was about to blink, Chippy looked at us again, and flashed...the smile. The best way to descibe Chippy's smile is to reference The Great Leslie (played by Tony Curtis) in The Great Race: Every time The Great Leslie smiles, he shows all his teeth, and either his eyes or his teeth actually sparkle. And I mean sparkle as in, you aren't going to miss the sparkle. The glint fills the whole screen. That is exactly what Chippy's smile looked like. We laughed so hard that the car shook.
While Chippy may have a good-guy smile, he definately has the bad guy's theme music. Not because he is bad, but because things seem to happen to him and his company that are quite reminisent of what happens to Professor Fate and Max (Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk, respectively) when they try a new scheme to do something to, before, better, or faster than The Great Leslie. The cool thing is that Chippy doesn't yell "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax!!!!" when something goes wrong. He goes out and solves it.
But back to Chippy's smile. We were almost at our destination when he found out that there was a car crash up the street a bit. Being a good CHP officer, he had to go and check it out. He had been "working the scene" for about twenty minutes when another officer showed up. The guy that had told us to watch for the smile decided that CHP officers must have a secret handshake or something.
"I'm telling you, they gotta!!! Watch Chippy carefully, and I'll watch the other guy. They have some sort of secret code or handshake that they use."
We all watched dutifully for a few minutes. Suddenly, the guy yelled "That's it!!!" when Chippy and his co-worker were about twenty feet apart. At that distance, they couldn't have reached to use a secret handshake, and neither of them had said anything.
But they smiled. They smiled that huge Great Leslie smile. There were the teeth, there was the glint. I don't think any of us will be able to convince that guy that it isn't a secret code. He's probably standing in front of his mirror right now practicing The Great Leslie smile. But I don't think he'll ever get the glint The Great Leslie had or the sparkle Chippy's smile had, dispite all the whitening strips in the world.
For he is not The Great Leslie, nor is he our beloved Chippy.
On the note of the Featured Movie, The Great Race: The Great Race is a wonderful movie, even though it is old. It goes a little flat in the last minute, but after you think about it, it is pretty good. The movie has so much humor, it will make your stomach hurt and your lungs collapse, especially concerning Prof. Fate and Max. The movie doesn't have any bad content (meaning graphic scenes or gratuitous vulgarity), and any violence is purely humorous (their is a huge pie fight that is to die for, it is so funny). Even the bar fight in Boracho (Spanish for "drunk") is quite humorous. I consider this a good family movie. To note, the heroine does at a few points wear the 1906 version of "skimmpy" clothing.
