Crushed Perfection (Girls Only)

Every girl’s first crush is Robin Hood, whether it be Disney’s Fox or Errol Flynn. It’s as simple as that. If they’ve heard the story, they’ve fallen in love with this “perfect” man. But, over time, our love for Robin grows dormant, tucked away deep in our heart, where it is hid, as we’ve grown up and realized that Robin is, in fact, fictional, and even if he wasn’t, he’d be dead by now, anyway. But deep down, if we were really, really honest, we still love him.

Then Kris comes along.

Most of you probably don’t know who this “Kris” is. Kris takes many forms and bears many names, but his main characteristic is that he is the heartthrob of a third of the single female American population. In popular media, Kris is more commonly known as Orlando Bloom. He’s perfect for everything—graceful as an elf, strong as a warrior, and as honest as Will. In local church youth groups, he takes the form of a more modest Kris-worship leader, cute, funny, honest, and believes that girls think in a manner that can best be illustrated by making spaghetti. However, any girl confessing her love for a Kris is smiled at, the aforementioned boy discussed, and then, just as the conversation is moving on, someone leans over and whispers “he’s out of your league.”

Hearts sink. With a more critical eye, she surveys her new love and realizes that he is, indeed, out of her league. Not to mention ten or fifteen years older than she is. Sigh. So over time she “grows out” of her crush and move on to more fertile ground. He is never mentioned again, and her love is laid to rest beside Robin in her own little love-sick graveyard. But, just like Robin, we still love him, and perhaps every now and then we’ll sneak a wreath in to lay over the unmarked grave.

But wait! There is one more who catches our little lady’s eye…and he’s cuter than Kris. So she meets Dan, who is responsible for the second third of crushes in the U.S.. Dan is better than Kris, and he has a dry sense of humor. While he might not be the youth’s worship leader, he is captain of the basketball team, the school’s star player, and class president. Did I mention that he is not just cute, but handsome? He’s also a prankster…but that only makes him more endearing. Unfortunately, she’s not the only one who has noticed Dan. Half of the school swoons if he happens to glance in their direction. Sure, he’s not dead, which is a plus, and he’s not twice her age, but her chances of getting him are just about as low.

So she sighs again and…stumbles across the We-Hate-Dan club, comprised of the other third of the female population. These girls are bent on destroying Dan, and getting every other girl to realize that he really is not as good as they think he is, a la John Tucker Must Die (which, incidentally, I only recommend if you are wishing to lose brain matter). They’re so focused on making his life miserable that they don’t even take time to look around and find out who else is cute, until they move away to college, and find some decent looking, not really impressive guy who they settle down and spend the rest of their life with. And then, every now and then, they sit down with a cup of tea and dream…of being Maid Marian, and waiting for Robin to come and rescue them.

And what did YOU have for dinner last night?

Octopus with soy sauce and tomato...Sounds great, doesn't it?

Heh.

Unfortunately, it appears this is really a dish. According to our corespondant (yes, our. The other half of my split personality is making its rounds, so you have to put up with both of us. :P ), a few nights ago(alright, late in January), some teenage boys were having an adventure.

With octopus.

Did I mention it was live?

Evidently one of them had found some sort of recipe for these little cephalopods, and they were on a war path to try it. There are no reports on what happened to those involved in the carnage, although I think one of them is missing a nose at the moment, and no one was interested in eating the leftovers the next morning....

Interestingly enough, the boy's wild adventure with creatures from the depths (or not so depthy) sea applies to more than just their tummies.

The Law defines octopi as unclean creatures. They do not have fins or scales, which is the requirement for any water-dwelling creature to be considered "clean."

Or does it?

Our Lord redefines "clean" and "unclean" when He stated that;

"What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.'"

Although none of our dear little squishy friends are here to hear that, it should make them happy.

I, for one, am not interested in such culinary excursions, so I will bow out from further courses.

Have I ever shared our family's Possum Recipe with you?

Aslan Returns, Part XII: Rumours and Guesses

I know, I know. I spelled it wrong. But we are talking about a series where all the main characters are from The Big UK. Rumours and Guesses will run whenever an interesting tid-bit comes up. However, the purpose of this is NOT for A City to become a random fan site, but rather for improved analysis of information, as always.

Rumour/Guess #1: Tilda Swinton will reappear as the Lady of the Green Kirtle, as well as Jadis. Now, it has been openly mentioned by Tilda that she would be willing to come back for The Magician's Nephew, but that was after she said she had done no filming for the White Witch section of Prince Caspian and before anyone ever found out that she had done a cameo. As for the cameo, NarniaWeb noted that "According to director Andrew Adamson, Tilda Swinton and her children had another short cameo in Prince Caspian—as centaurs."

The Adamson later continues "...she's wonderful. She's just kind of this fan of the film. She said in an interview at one stage that she'd be happy to do [it]...even if it was in my garage and she had to wear a pointy hat. And when she won her Golden Globe or the Oscar, I texted her and said, 'Will you still do that movie in the garage?' And she texted me back, 'Where's my call sheet, dude?' She's great."

Since Tilda seems to have such vested interest in the series, it is not beyond the reach of possibility that she will, in fact, play both the Lady of the Green Kirtle and Jadis.

Aslan Returns, Part XI: Aslan

Young Hillary Clinton

Her majesty has just declared that she is pulling out of the presidential candidacy race and is supporting Obama.

Aslan Returns, Part X: Duel and Corresponding Battle

As this posts, I am no where near a computer, much less a computer hooked up to the internet. I've finally discovered how to set stuff up to post ahead of time! woot!

Peter, Edmund and Caspian have, by this point mostly mended their relationships. No one is angry at anyone, and no one feels above or beneath the others. It is during this time also that Susan and Lucy set out on the secret mission, only for Susan to come back with Caspian (hmmmmm....).

The duel progresses in a very different manner than in the book. In the book, Peter sprains his wrist. Here, he dislocates his shoulder (if you were wondering why Ed grabbed his arm and jerked it like that, that's why). Instead of Miraz being stabbed in the back while Peter waits for him to rise, Peter hands the sword to Caspian, and then Miraz is stabbed (with one of Susan's feathers, incidentally), and the Telmarines call foul, although this fits in the movie's storyline much better.

The Battle is very well done, and creates a whole new style of fighting. Instead of relying solely on ground and air troops, a new method is developed: underground troops. Here the Narnians literally pull the sod from beneath the Telmarine's feet. The Narnians have little need to fight. They are barely getting started when Aslan awakens the trees, and the trees and the river god take care of the rest. A much smaller battle then the battle in the first movie, and much smaller than I imagined the battle being, but actually larger then Lewis actually wrote, but it sets Aslan up to have a much more grand entrance, because, really, that's who its all about, right?

Whaddya mean, no?