Cooking for Two, Part 1

My dearest Aunt, the aunt we keep upstairs in the attic (we keep her sister in the basement), has this thing about food. When she knows a certain number of people will be present for a meal, she will cook for twice or three times as many. She will eat a small amount of food, after serving you enough for three. When you have somewhat successfully cleaned your plate, she will push the leftover food toward you, grunt, and point at it, demanding that you eat the food. I remember as a little tike wondering how I would be able to fit out the door to descend into mine own abode, and feeling like I was going to explode after imbibing all the food that got shoved at me. No wonder I'm overweight.

The day my mother told me, "You know, you don't have to eat everything your aunt offers you" was a day of great celebration and rejoicing. It was a feeling of empowerment to not have to eat everything that was set before me. It was like...wow. It is so hard to explain in words. I felt like I could float above the world, and fly. Plus I didn't dread climbing the stairs as much.

I had lots of weird ideas as a little tike.

As I grew older, it seemed inevitable that I would have to eat at my aunt's once or twice a year, but I made up for the excess of food by being dubbed an anorexic by the boys.

I only ate half of my PBJ.

Only half.

And I hadn't eaten breakfast.

And I wasn't planning on eating it.

And the boys, who's faces were covered with enough food to feed a tribe in Africa for a day, and who had an equal amount, if not greater, on their plates, decide I'm not eating enough.

Logan: Is that all your eating?
Me: Yah.
Logan: *stares*
Me: What?
Logan: You're anorexic.

I am NOT. I would like to weigh around 130 pounds, and that would not be considered anorexic. Now, if I weighed 130 and thought I was grossly overweight, I would beg you, my friends, to step in and help me.

But I don't.

But, anywho, this is all to say....

Wait for part 2 tomorrow to find out exactly WHY this is entitled "Cooking for Two."