Pirates of the Caribbean III *SPOILERS* Part 5

General Critiques, including discrepancies from previous movies.

This one isn't exactly the high point of my critique, but it will do.

Oh!!! And an announcement!!! Taking the place of my experience at the theater with this movie will be a very special post. It will still deal with POTC, but it will also be dedicated to a very special blog. Stay tuned for part eight. :)

Other than that...ah yes, critiques. Discrepancies:

1. 1) As previously mentioned, Elizabeth's hair changes.
2. 2) Will has an earring. Now, this especially irks me, because I don't really care for earrings, unless they are in very good taste on certain women. When anyone who does not fall in the category of a woman-with-earrings-of-very-good-taste gets an earring, I am hurt and offended. It just isn't right. Okay, I don't even wear the danglies.
3. 3) Barbossa's hat comes back. Jack had whacked it mostly to destruction in the first movie.
4. 4) Skirts on women appear and disappear. I think the same thing might have happened with some jewelry, but I'm not quite sure about it.

To note, some of my friends and I call this the "hat problem." This has a somewhat long story, so let me take you to another time and place that speaks of a man, like Jack, who had a very precious hat. This man, however, was an archeologist. His name was....drum roll, please....Indiana Jones!!!

In every fight that Indiana Jones gets into, his hat is (supposedly) never knocked off. When the films were made, lots of movies had hats getting knocked off repeatedly during fight scenes. So the producers decided that Indiana Jones' hat would not get knocked off.

So for some reason, when ever something appears and then disappears, we call it a hat.

So yah. There was a tiny bit of hats.

I was planning on sticking the following in Actor Critiques, but I'll stick it here because 1) This post isn't very long, and the Actor Critiques one will be, 2) I've been making fun of Orlando Bloom, so I want to even it out, and 3) I'm not really sure where this would belong anyways.

There is a scene where Will is on the Flying Dutchman, and is having tea with Lord Beckett. Please note for this scene that the boat is out of the middle of nowhere, and only because you've seen previous scenes do you know how he got here. Davy Jones doesn't know. But anyways, Beckett summons Davy Jones to the cabin, where he discovers dear old Will and Beckett having a nice tea together. Throughout the time in the cabin, Will mentions little odds and ends that are important to either Davy Jones of Beckett that they didn't know previously. Whenever he says something important to Davy Jones, Jones looks at him. Will, with a complete look of innocence on his face says,

"Oh...didn't Jack tell you that?"

Of course, Davy Jones didn't know that Jack wasn't in the locker anymore.

I know this wasn't the swellest post, but I would like to say one thing: For those of you who think Orlando Bloom can't act, hold your tongue until you see this scene.

Now tell me, could you do that? And make it look like you were just having a civilized cup of tea? And keep a straight face?

Chances are, you couldn't.

Sorry, S. Sorry, Boys.

I will now retire to my den and laugh evilly over the next post(s).

~Dresden

Pirates of the Caribbean III *SPOILERS* Part 4

Costumes/Aesthetic Elements

As I have now actually completed telling you MOST of the storyline, I have to leave something to make all four of you want to go see the movie...wait, I think you've already seen it...grrr....Well, to make you want to go see it again. That work?

Anyways, now that we have established what happens in the movie....

I must interrupt myself. I have been kicking myself since early this morning because I forgot to post something important!!!!! So, I edited and added it in, but I'll paste it here so that you don't have to go trawling for it:

It is somewhat hard to describe a battle scene, especially when you've only seen it once. One important part is that Will and Elizabeth get married in the middle of the fight.

Will: Elizabeth, will you marry me?
Elizabeth: I don’t think now is the best time!!!!

Will replies that it might be the only time. Then they both yell at Barbossa to marry them.

Barbossa: I’m kinda busy right now!!!
Will: Barbossa!!! Marry us!!!
Barbossa (Slices and jabs, fires a gun) Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today in the sight of God and men….

Ah yes...a wonderful sequence. Now, back to our feature presentation, as dear hol says on a regular basis.

Costumes: The costumes were very well done. The only problem I had with the costumes were 1) The skimpiness of some of Elizabeth's costumes and 2) sudden changes of costumes when clothing changes wouldn't have been easily accomplished, and shouldn't have happened.

1. 1) Skimpy clothing: several of Elizabeth's costumes go quite far up the thigh. This is somewhat of an annoyance, and detracts from her image overall. Lower the skirt six inches, and you'd keep the beauty and her good image.
2. 2) At several points costumes are suddenly changed when they shouldn't have been. An example is Elizabeth's costume when Sao Feng's boat is attacked. The costume is very unique and looks a certain way while Sao Feng dies. Elizabeth goes up to the main deck, and her costume goes through a change. When was that supposed to happen? Unless I terribly missed something, it wasn't.

Another point that illustrates both of the above is when Calypso is freed. Calypso's floor-length dress suddenly shortens several feet, and is at the point of great impropriety, especially when there are camera shots looking up at her.

I like the English soldier’s costumes.

Admiral Norrington has some HUGE cuffs on his coat jacket sleeves.

Some neat costume changes includes Will's when he changes into Captain Turner. His shirt color changes. And his hair seems to get an inch longer. And it gets curlier. And he is wearing a bandanna. And he has a huge scar on his chest. And for the first time, Orlando Bloom appears to be...manly? Well, anything is possible, I suppose. (Please note, T, that this last comment was instituted by a dear friend of mine and is not necessarily the opinion of the editor, as my binders can proudly attest. :P)

Aesthetic elements~Prosthetics...as usual, wonderful false teeth. Sarge claims that Jack Sparrow's teeth are whiter than before, but I'd have to watch the two movies side-by-side to be able to prove or disprove that. At one point, Barbossa's nails are no longer black, but then return to their previous condition in later shots. When the frostbitten toe gets broken off...ewwwww.

~Hair...wonderfully done. In this movie, Elizabeth's hair lends itself much better to her actions then it did in Dead Man's Chest. It has obviously been cut, but it doesn't go through different lengths, as in DMC. (To note real quick, the different lengths were 1) at the wedding--she had stray danglies that appear no where else in the movie--, 2)when she "barters" with Beckett and 3) everything after her escape.) Jack gets more hair when Barbossa disappears with his boat, Murtogg and Mullroy's (I think that is their names….) hair seems to grow a few inches when they become pirates. I really like Will's hair...it never seems to change except when it is absolutely necessary, unlike the previously mentioned peoples.

~Sets...Wonderful. No huge problems here...I didn't really catch any huge inconsistencies.

~Hmmm...I think that's it. You may want to check back, though. I may end up kicking myself again because I left something I thought was important out.

~Dresden

P.S. Thanks to Hol for getting me the music!!!!

Pirates of the Caribbean III *SPOILERS* Part 3

Thus have the adventurers come so far, yet are still in the locker. How will they get out? They're wondering that, too.

And they don't know the answer.

Jack is messing with the map, and finds a part that says "up is down." They have to get out of this middling place between life or death between sunset...If they don't, they will be forever doomed to sail between the seas of the living, and the seas of the dead. Jack gets them all running back and forth, trying to get the ship to flip over. Finally it does, the green flash appears (see movie for details about the flash) and they flip over again, landing right side up and in the seas of our world. So they return. Now that they are back in our world, they can continue to the meeting of the Pirate Lords, but not before Will betrays Jack and Barbossa, Sao Feng betrays Will, Beckett betrays Sao Feng and Jack betrays Beckett. Savvy?

Hope so. A lot more betraying goes on, as Jack also betrays Will, and Will turns on almost everybody. During this time, he has tea with Beckett and riles Davy Jones' feathers...or his tentacles...More about that later, in actor critiques.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth lands on Sao Feng's ship, Sao Feng gets killed, but before he dies, he makes Elizabeth captain, and tells her to take his place at the brethren court. He also gives her his "piece of eight." The ship is captured by Davy Jones, under the command of Admiral Norrington (Jack Davenport) as Sao Feng dies. Elizabeth chooses to stay with her crew instead of taking Norrington's cabin. That night, Norrington helps Elizabeth and her crew escape, and gets killed in the process. Elizabeth and her crew head out to Shipwreck Cove, where the meeting of the brethren is. A note about Shipwreck Cove:

Jack: Us pirates are not very inventive with names.
Gibbs: ?
Jack: Shipwreck Town in Shipwreck Cove on Shipwreck Island. You know, I used to know a pirate who had lost both arms, one leg and part of his eye.
Gibbs: What'd you call him?
Jack: Larry.

So the brethren court meet, act like a bunch of pirates, and elect Elizabeth Swann the Pirate Queen. She wins by one vote--Jack Sparrow's. She promptly goes out to parley with the enemy (the three from the East India Company: Beckett, Davy Jones and Will. The three from the pirates: Jack, Barbossa and Elizabeth.) Everyone (except for Jack) agree to trade Will and Jack, and get back to fighting. At this point, the pirates release Calypso...Details in the movie, quite complicated and doesn't have much to do with my critique.

Everybody fights.

This is a GREAT (yes, all caps and italicized...I'd underline, too, but I can't seem to get it to work.) battle scene, wonderful in just about every way. It is somewhat hard to describe a battle scene, especially when you've only seen it once. One important part is that Will and Elizabeth get married in the middle of the fight.

Will: Elizabeth, will you marry me?
Elizabeth: I don’t think now is the best time!!!!

Will replies that it might be the only time. Then they both yell at Barbossa to marry them.

Barbossa: I’m kinda busy right now!!!
Will: Barbossa!!! Marry us!!!
Barbossa (Slices and jabs, fires a gun) Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today in the sight of God and men….

Other than that, let it suffice that Jack goes and does a little bit more surfing in Switzerland (he's imagining multiple Jack Sparrows, again. "Nobody move!!! I dropped my brain."), then goes and battles Davy Jones for the chest and the key, is holding the heart in his hand, when Will gets stabbed, ironically enough with a sword that he made in the first movie, and is dieing. There is only one way to save Will.

He (Will) must stab the heart.

He stabs. Jack takes Elizabeth away in a makeshift parachute while Will's heart is cut out and put in the chest. (No, you do not see the heart getting cut out.) The Flying Dutchman disappears under the waves, and then resurfaces with a new Captain: Captain Turner. The Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman then both go across opposite sides of the E-something (Beckett's lead ship...I couldn't quite read the name of the ship) and destroy it. Beckett has failed, and I presume, is now dead.

The Pearl returns to Tortuga.

Barbossa makes off with the Pearl and...well, if you want to know what happens, watch the movie. I will leave you with one little tid-bit about the plotline, though.

Will can only set foot on land once every ten years now. He and Elizabeth spend their last day together for the next ten years. Make sure you wait until after the credits are over to see what happens ten years later.

~Dresden

Pirates of the Caribbean III *SPOILERS* Part 2

We left off with Will banging the really bad-bad guys over the head with a bar. Next, everyone escapes to...go find Jack. We now have Will, Elizabeth, Barbossa, Tia Dalma, the charts, a boat and a crew.

Let's cut to Jack, as he is more important to my post at this point in time. I'll leave you all to wonder how the previous peoples get to Davy Jones' locker. If you really want to know, watch the movie.

Anyways, Jack:

The scene opens with...a nose. A Very Large Nose. The nose sniffs, and continues to sniff, as it walks forward and then discovers a peanut. It is at this point that you can actually see something more than a nose, and discover that the afforementioned nose belongs to no other than...Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). Sparrow takes a napkin, ties it around his neck and prepares to eat his peanut with a fork and knife when he is suddenly shot. You see that he is shot by Jack Sparrow, who simply says,

"My peanut."

It turns out that the crew is made up of Jack Sparrows. Jack is the Captain, First mate, coxswain, carpenter, sailor-before-the-mast, etc. Very confusing, and very weird.

Jack's gone mad.

Finally, Jack the Captain proclaims to all the other Jacks,

"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness." And swings down off of the ship to land in...the salt flats of Utah. (Technically, this is supposed to be Davy Jones' locker....)

He walks around, observing his ship, and then sees a rock. He picks it up and throws it away from the ship and turns to find....

A rock.

He picks that rock up and throws it away from the ship. The rock lays where he threw it for a few moments, and then starts to wobble and crack. Meanwhile, Jack tries to pull his ship by sheer manpower, and, since he is the only man, finds he can't do it. But fulfilling the definition of insanity, he continues to do the same thing over and over again, expecting different results each time.

The rock finishes cracking open and becomes a granite crab. It slides over to a bunch of other rocks, taps its claws, and the other rocks begin to wobble and crack and turn into granite crabs.

Jack passes out from either exhaustion or from being beat by his ship. The crabs crawl over and start moving the ship. Jack wakes up to find that his ship is running away from him. So, he runs after it.

At this point, the ship that everyone who was in Singapore but is now in Davy Jones' locker comes ashore. I would like to mention here, I don't know why I didn't do this in the previous post, but the fight scene in Singapore is fantastic...especially what the monkey and the parrot do. Definately a must-see.

Their boat is destroyed, and they are all sopping wet. They start discussing how they are going to find Jack on this barren wasteland, when his ship comes "sailing" over the sand, with him on board. The ship sails from the sand into the sea, and Jack returns in a row boat. He thinks everyone is part of his imagination, and so they all take time bickering over that. It is in the middle of the bickering that Jack says one of my favorite lines from the trailer:

"Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you tried to kill me. One of you suceeded." Everyone looks at Elizabeth. Will looks hurt. She didn't tell him.

Finally, everyone ends up on board. After sailing for a while and some very interesting conversation (again, I won't tell you everything that happens in the movie....), the ship sails by those who have died at sea, those whom Davy Jones was supposed to sea to the afterlife. He has neglected that duty.

Here something very very sad happens. To cut really quickly to discussing actor's performances, this scene was done wonderfully by Kiera Knightly. It is at this point that Elizabeth discovers that Beckett killed her father and dumped his body overboard. Kiera does a wonderful job expressing the pain and emotions that any girl would feel if they found out like this that their Daddy had died.

"I'll give your love to your mother!!!!"

to be continued....

Pirates of the Caribbean III *SPOILERS* Part 1

I have seen it.

Yes, second true day in theaters, and I have attended, and am now ready to critique, Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End.

It was wonderful. I suppose one of the FCN staff will growl at me for saying that (we talked a bit earlier about this), but I am hoping his two companions will restrain him from hurting me, unless they decide to turn on me too. In that case, I appeal to you, my other friends, to hide me and protect me. :P

To be able to accurately present to you the wonder of this movie, I am going to divide this into eight parts. Please note that these parts only graze the top of the movie.

1. Part 1: Storyline/Plotline, Sub-Part 1
2. Part 2: Storyline/Plotline, Sub-Part 2
3. Part 3: Storyline/Plotline, Sub-Part 3
4. Part 4: Costumes/Asthetic Elements
5. Part 5: General Critiques, including discrepencies from previous movies
6. Part 6: Actor Critques
7. Part 7: Technological (including sound) Critiques
8. Part 8: What happened before (and after) I saw the movie

So to begin: Storyline/Plotline

The movie starts out with the hanging of probably near a hundred people from Port Royale (I didn't think their population was large enough to handle this!!!), all in the form of mass hangings. These people, comprised of men and women, young and old, have all been arrested for at any time in their life either being, having contact, aiding or setting eyes on a pirate. Those who aid the East India Company are miraculously exempted from this. The way this scene is put together is quite good, despite the morbidness of it. An official is reading a list of rights that have been "temporarily" removed. After he names a right, you see the hangman pullback the lever and about eight pairs of feet fall through. Now, LDers, pay attention here. Some very important rights were removed, show that the East India Company actually undervalued democracy. Lost rights included:

• Right to Assembly
• Right to Trial by Jury of Peers
• Right of Expressed Opinion
• Etc.

The scene continues like this until a small boy walks up to the gallows, preparing to be hung. He holds a small piece of silver in his hand (a piece of eight) and, while looking at it and turning it, begins to sing. The other doomed prisoners hear the song and begin to sing with him. (The song is NOT Yo-ho, yo-ho a pirate's life for me.)

In the next scene, we meet a young caucasian woman paddling a boat and softly singing the same song. She is in Singapore, and sings softly as she paddles past both locals and soldiers from the East India Company. She docks her boat and is stopped by three locals, who tell her that it is very bad for her to be singing that song, especially since she is a woman, a caucasian, and alone. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) then suddenly appears, and says that she isn't alone. The woman, if you haven't guessed, is Elizabeth (Kiera Knightly). The three locals then escort Elizabeth and Barbossa into the Bathouse, where Sao Feng awaits them. But before they can enter, they have to give up all their weapons. Elizabeth has an interesting aray, and and interesting way of giving them out. Some of this is quite funny. However, I will leave you to your imagination, or to see the movie, on this point.

In the bathouse, it is discovered that Will (Orlando Bloom) has been caught trying to steal a certain map to Davy Jones' (Bill Nighly) locker. Barbossa and Elizabeth deny knowing Will, and Will almost gets killed. Then everyone turns on Barbossa and Elizabeth, but their good pals throw some weapons up through the cracks in the floor and the two are instantly armed. Suddenly, the East India Trading Companie's Soldiers burst in, and everybody starts fighting them, since they are the real bad guys. Will, who had his hands tied to a bar, does a wonderful job of fighting using the bar with his hands tied to it, and an even better job of fighting once someone cuts the ropes that tie his hands to it.

Everyone escapes and heads out to find Jack.

More on that, later.

A Day in the Life of A City

I'm sorry I deserted you all.

But I had a marvelous time.

What I did for that long period of time where I wasn't at home, and I wasn't musing over what to write here, I was up at a retreat. Besides having wonderful oportunities to council a few girls, I did experience many other wonderful things. The coolest one of all, literally, was a trip to Bridgeport.

Bridgeport, as you might have guessed, has some water located in it, in the form of a river. The river is pretty cool, temperature wise and look wise. What is really fun is wading in it. The water will come up pretty high, depending on were you wade. I skirt the outside of it so that it wouldn't get much higher than my waist. Trying to cross a river without getting much deaper is kinda hard.

But I succeeded.

In the process, I banged up my toes and bruised my feet, to the point that it was painful to walk later that evening. But it was worth it.In the middle of the river is a huge rock. We found this most valuable for sitting on and drying off on if you got your clothes wet. It was also fun to try to climb on the rocks without falling into the water.

I am proud of myself. I kept my clothes pretty dry and I did NOT fall in.

Others did. I didn't.

Thanks to all of you that made that trip special, for wading across the river, slicing apples and bringing that yummy carmel-ish stuff we dipped the apples in.

~Dresden

A Day in the Life of A City

Ty just scared me.

Bad.

And he got Oyi to help him, naughty little girl. :P

It happened quite simply, like this:

I was on the internet, chatting away with Oyi, when I suddenly got an invite to chat with a username that looked very weird. I asked Oyi if she knew who this was. She asked some questions about he/she/it, then told me to accept the invite. I quote myself:

me: who is _____ ?
Oyi: Who?
me: Who is that? do you know?
Oyi: Is he/she talking to you or something?
me: it wants to chat with me.
Oyi:Accept the invite
me: And say what?
Oyi: You don't have to say anything. Just start by accepting the invite. That just means it added you to its buddy list
me: Okay....I'm trusting you. Please don't steer me wrong.
Do you know who this is?
Oyi?
I'm scared.
Oyi: What's he saying?
me: Nothing. He's busy.
Oyi: Ungh brb
me: Who is it?
OYI!!!! DON"T LEAVE ME!!!!
Oyi: Back
Ah yeah, I know ____.
me: So do I/
The silly.
Oyi: He's perfectly harmless.

Yah, he's perfectly harmless. Very harmless. Our conversation begins:

Ty: Did you know that in foreign countries, licking doorknobs is a crime punishable by death and/or taxes?
me: Who are you?
Ty: Bored.
me: Is this M?
Ty: Probably not.
me: Do you carry around tissue boxes growling "my prescious"? (long story, I'll tell later if you really want to know)
Ty: Could be, though. That'd be really cool.
I wish I did
me: Is this someone I know?
Ty: Unless you've forgotten
me: Where would I know you from?
Ty: Clear your cerebral cortex, the answer will come...
me: E?
Ty: In the meantime, (some addy) So close.
me: (I figure out who it is) TY!!!! You silly!!!
Ty: I was just starting to have fun, too.
me: Okay, I'll pretend I didn't realize that this is Ty.

Etc.

They were being vewwy Naughty. With an accent. This is wierd. And I rewarded their naughty conduct with a post. Tsk tsk.

~Dresden

Forwards

I have a thing about forwards.

I think they are fun. In small quantities. However, when I get multiple forwards multiple times, they lose their funny side and become annoying.

Such was the case today.

I received the same forward twice within five minutes. By checking who the forward was sent to, I can predict that I will receive it anywhere from 0 to 4 more times.

I am annoyed.

When I receive a forward, there are several options as to what to do:

1. 1. Read the forward
2. 2. Read and respond
3. 3. Read and delete
4. 4. Read and send to multiple people in the same circles so that they will receive the same forward multiple times.
5. 5. Forget to read and leave unopened in my inbox for six months.

It is quite tempting to enact the fourth option. This was the case today. As I read through this forward (I more skimmed then read, but whatever.) I was tempted to send this little e-mail to several people...that I knew had already gotten it, and, when I sent it to certain other people, would most likely receive it several more times.

The temptation was great. I sat for a few minutes, deep in thought. Should I? or should I show a bit of mercy? My hand slowly reached for the mouse....

I didn't send it. Perhaps I should...perhaps I shall...but I think I will move it to a new category, the infamous sixth category:

Leave it in my inbox until it falls into obscurity.

~Dresden

The Gift of Pain

Pain...what good is it? Pain is usually associated with something bad...but this week, I have discovered the Gift of Pain.

I have a condition where, every little while, the nerve running down the back of my leg will get pinched, resulting in immense back pain, while removing my ability to run, jump, and other forms of monkeying around that need your legs. When that nerve gets pinched, doing such things is out of the question. Too much pain.

While limping around the house and growling at my nerves, I thought of something I had done a looooooooooong time ago when I was very little. I don't know if I had skinned my knee or what, but something had happened that made my leg utter complaints to its owner every time skin or muscle changed position. What I had decided at that point, as a little girl, was to thank God every time my leg hurt until that wound healed. That was one annoying time, especially when I needed to go up stairs, but I found that I didn't really have huge longings for things I couldn't do. Instead of longing to go outside and run, I found that our bookshelves had dozens of very interesting--and sometimes dusty--books. I also found myself thankful that I would be able to use my leg again, unlike other people, who couldn't.

A story that comes to mind is, I believe, from the book Ten Fingers for God. A certain doctor that dealt specifically with leprosy spent a long day traveling. When he arrived at his destination, he discovered that he had lost feeling in a certain area of his foot. Prepared for the worst, he decided to go to bed and map out the effected area the next morning. The next morning he began to map the area by sticking a pin into his skin. He pricked himself with the pin in the middle of the effected area and let out a loud yell. His circulation had been cut off while he had been traveling, explaining for the loss of feeling. I bet that pain had never felt quite as good as it did at that time.

But that still doesn't make me very happy about my back.

Although, through pain, I have discovered what toes are for. To find furniture in the dark. That still doesn't make me very happy about my back pains.

For days I have been searching for what, exactly, about this pain is my gift. I finally found it. Because of where the pinched nerve is located, it hurts to bend over. If I want to pick anything up off of the floor I have to sink down to my knees and then rise in the same manner. Sort of the "lift with your legs, not your back" thing. I also must do my best to keep my shoulders parallel to my hips. Any movement shifting my shoulders from that position hurts. But, because I cannot bend over and my body must stay straight, my posture has improved. I used to have a terrible back hump for someone my age.

Because of my pain, I've received a new gift: a better posture. I think that is better than mapping the floor of my house with my toes.

~Dresden

Chippy's Smile

I must explain about Chippy's smile. Earlier, I had ended a story with "Did I ever tell you about Chippy's smile? Now...that is another story...."

Evidently, several people wanted to know about Chippy's smile. Now. So, I will tell the tale of the Chippy's smile.

Chippy is a young hispanic CHP officer that, in the previous story, gave us a ride. And, in the previous story, he had given a girl a ticket for rolling through a stop sign. I entered the car after that point. As before, I was sitting sandwiched between two guys, when Chippy decided to pull a vehicle over for speeding. Chippy got out of the CHP car and walked over to the passenger window and began asking the driver the usual questions. After he asked each question, he would quickly glance back at us, sitting in the car.

"Watch for the smile...he's gonna smile...ya just...gotta...look close!!!!" One of the guys had said. We all laughed, and watched intently for Chippy to smile.

Not blinking for five minutes can really dry your eyes out.

Just as I was about to blink, Chippy looked at us again, and flashed...the smile. The best way to descibe Chippy's smile is to reference The Great Leslie (played by Tony Curtis) in The Great Race: Every time The Great Leslie smiles, he shows all his teeth, and either his eyes or his teeth actually sparkle. And I mean sparkle as in, you aren't going to miss the sparkle. The glint fills the whole screen. That is exactly what Chippy's smile looked like. We laughed so hard that the car shook.

While Chippy may have a good-guy smile, he definately has the bad guy's theme music. Not because he is bad, but because things seem to happen to him and his company that are quite reminisent of what happens to Professor Fate and Max (Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk, respectively) when they try a new scheme to do something to, before, better, or faster than The Great Leslie. The cool thing is that Chippy doesn't yell "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax!!!!" when something goes wrong. He goes out and solves it.

But back to Chippy's smile. We were almost at our destination when he found out that there was a car crash up the street a bit. Being a good CHP officer, he had to go and check it out. He had been "working the scene" for about twenty minutes when another officer showed up. The guy that had told us to watch for the smile decided that CHP officers must have a secret handshake or something.

"I'm telling you, they gotta!!! Watch Chippy carefully, and I'll watch the other guy. They have some sort of secret code or handshake that they use."

We all watched dutifully for a few minutes. Suddenly, the guy yelled "That's it!!!" when Chippy and his co-worker were about twenty feet apart. At that distance, they couldn't have reached to use a secret handshake, and neither of them had said anything.

But they smiled. They smiled that huge Great Leslie smile. There were the teeth, there was the glint. I don't think any of us will be able to convince that guy that it isn't a secret code. He's probably standing in front of his mirror right now practicing The Great Leslie smile. But I don't think he'll ever get the glint The Great Leslie had or the sparkle Chippy's smile had, dispite all the whitening strips in the world.

For he is not The Great Leslie, nor is he our beloved Chippy.

On the note of the Featured Movie, The Great Race:
The Great Race is a wonderful movie, even though it is old. It goes a little flat in the last minute, but after you think about it, it is pretty good. The movie has so much humor, it will make your stomach hurt and your lungs collapse, especially concerning Prof. Fate and Max. The movie doesn't have any bad content (meaning graphic scenes or gratuitous vulgarity), and any violence is purely humorous (their is a huge pie fight that is to die for, it is so funny). Even the bar fight in Boracho (Spanish for "drunk") is quite humorous. I consider this a good family movie. To note, the heroine does at a few points wear the 1906 version of "skimmpy" clothing.

With that said,

"Push the button, Max!"

Pictures of the Doughnut of Death

Kindly provided by a friend of mine...I don't think she knows these are here yet.

A Day in the Life of A City

This spring, it has been my honor to attend several different events sponsored by the CHP (California Highway Patrol). These events were all a presentation of a certain anti-drinking and driving program, Every 15 Minutes. To quickly explain the program in a nutshell, I'll give you this memorized quote that everyone knows who has been to more than one of these events: "Every 15 minutes someone is killed or seriously injured in an alcohol related incident."

Is that enough information?

If its not, throughout the career of this blog, you will be to know it much better. Anyways, today happened to be the first part of the two day event for one school. The crash was uneventful (a double fatal car crash is staged in the football field...again, more later), as was the arrival at the hospital. To quickly note, all of this is filmed and then edited and presented the following day. After that point, I usually would go to the mortuary along with the not really dead dead person, along with Sarge and a cameraman. But today, I had a little spice added to my life. I got to go to booking, to watch the "drunk" driver get instated in the local jail.

The guy that was acting as the drunk was a real weiner. He even looked like a hotdog. His first complaint was that the handcuffs were uncomfortable. Could someone please tell me when they were supposed to be comfortable? We wondered if he needed fluffy padding between his wrists and the cuffs, but fortuantely, good sense prevailed. The Chippy officer told him to hold on a minute until we were done filming, then he could take them off. That was before we drove over to booking.

The trip to booking was quite interesting. I have never actually been in that section of the jail, and while I had no intention of ever going there except for under my absolute free will, that intention was strongly re-inforced.

While we were waiting for the Chippy to set everything up (you don't just bring a teenager into a jail without first setting out some precautions), we discovered that our "driver" had a peculiar way of popping his head out of the squad car to say something. It almost looked like someone had set a jack-in-the-box on its side and then turned a hidden crank about once every minute and a half. One of the things he popped his head out for was to ask one of the deputies if he was so-and-so. The deputy answered,

"Yeah. When did I arrest you?"

The answer, it turned out, was never. The deputy was the boy's old Scout master. Its so nice to see reunions that begin that way...I guess.

Anyways, after going to booking, we returned to the school. Now, one thing that I was not planning on was spending a fifteen minute car ride sandwiched between the equivalent of two football jocks in the back of a patrol car. I got squeeshed. But, it was okay. I had more room than if I had ridden in the back of Sarge's car. But, at the end of the day, I rode back to the school in the CHP car. I kinda asked for it, though. One of the ladies that works in the E15 program is a nurse, and rode shotgun to the hospital with Chippy driving. She claims she will never ride in a car driven by him again. I wanted to see if it was really true.

It wasn't.

Anyways, while we were driving home, on the freeway, this little bug zips by us going at an excessive speed. Chippy, asked us if he should pull her over. The boys let out a resounding yes. To note, Chippy had evidently pulled over someone else on the way to the hospital for rolling through a stopsign. Anyways, this girl got a ticket for speeding. The rest of the ride was uneventful until we almost reached our destination. Note that I said "almost." there had been an accident involving five vehicles. Chippy was the closest CHP officer, so, of course, was the first responder. It was a mess, although an interesting crash. I feel bad for the guy whose car got the worst of it, though.

His trunk was full of computer equipment.

Did I ever tell you about Chippy's smile? Now...that is another story....

A Day in the Life of A City

Sleepovers...the blessing all girls love. It was one warming evening not too long ago, alright, it was this last weekend, that I was able to experience a two night sleepover. Please note that it my family, this is very rare, as everyone but me thinks that a sleepover is some phenomenon that takes a year or two to recover from.

Anyways, this sleepover was special, partly planned and partly unplanned. The planned part was simple: One of my friends who lives a few hours away was going to come and stay at my house for the duration of a tournament. The unplanned part was that she ended up sleeping in my room. Being girls, of course, this was no problem. We made room and settled in for the evening. What was the problem is, being girls, we talked.

A lot.

Besides telling stories, we critiqued our day's performance at the tournament, bantered about who we would like or not like to go against and other oddities. This went on for about two hours when some matronly voices reminded us that we had another day of competeing begining in about eight hours. We agreed to that fact, and continued talking. Very soon a patronly voice told us that we would be required to roll out of the bed and into a car in about seven hours, and we needed to get some sleep. So we did...for a bit. Only too soon my dear alarm (set to Celtic Woman's Caledonia) began to play and the house began to explode. First off, somebody went and showered in the bathroom that doesn't have a shower curtain. Perhaps this was partly my fault, as I didn't warn them that it didn't have a curtain, but on the other hand, wouldn't it be just a bit obvious? Whatever the answer to that question is, the floor was still soaked. Other such explosions happened throughout the morning, ending with me almost forgeting my suit jacket and notes before we sped out the door and were happily on our way to the tournament.

One thing I ought to note is that I routinely get ready for a tournament on the way to the tournament. I usually exit the house wearing a hoodie, flat shoes (flip-flops, if I happen to get away with it) and hair unkempt, and exit the car to the tournament with a dazzling do and in a suit, complete with high heels. Somehow wrinkled shirts get pressed in the back of the car, but I'm not really sure how that happens; it might be the hoodie's influence. Anyways, I arrived at the tournament in one piece, and ready to debate. And Debate I did. Everything went fine until my third round of the day.

I went against a very good, graduating debater. I wasn't sure how I would survive, but I tightened my belt (I wasn't wearing one, so I'm not sure how that happened) and strode into the room. My debater friend and I had quite a good time before the judge came in. My friend knew what my case was (I hadn't expected to hit him, so I had told him, and even offered him the case if he wanted it), and I knew what his case was...I had ran it earlier. So we debated. IT was an interesting round, and I had lots of fun.

After we were done, I walked out to the playground that was located nearby and amused myself by sitting and watching a mentor play on the "doughnut of death." The doughnut of death was somewhat like a huge tire, about five feet in diameter, and was slanted and on some sort of wheel or rotating device, as it would go around in circles if not correctly balanced. Watching ten guys try to keep their balance on the doughnut of death while standing up (and while screaming like girls) is quite...interesting to say the least. Later on that day I was able to partake of the doughnut of death myself, except for two small differences; one, I sat on the doughnut of death, and two, I did not scream.

Besides breaking to quarterfinals, the rest of the day was uneventful, until I had to watch two people that I really wanted to qualify go against each other for one slot. That hurt.

Anyways, the rest of the day went well, and finished just the way it had began: with two girls, talking late into the night.

A City

At Home

Welcome to my sphere of influence.

That was weird.

Anyways, this is my little blog, for me to note the oddities that are only supposed to happen once in a while, but seem to happen almost constantly to me. I hope you enjoy. To note a very good blog that I must recommend (this blog also has some very good recomendations) please vist http://oyiandclari.blogspot.com/ .

A City